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Women have an unusual place in Mormonism. While they do not hold the priesthood (which is held by all worthy men ages twelve and older) they have the opportunity to do essentially everything a minister in another church might do.

Mormons—a nickname for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—believe that gender was assigned before our births and that each gender has sacred responsibilities. The Bible demonstrates that God sometimes assigns roles based on gender, including childbirth and family leadership. This is not a reflection on the abilities of the gender, but merely a simple way to provide a division of duties.

In general, women have primary responsibility for the home and men for providing financially for the family. However, caring for the home is usually too large a job for one person and so Mormon men are taught to help with the housework and parenting. Children benefit from having both a mother and a father active in their lives, so it is important for men to be active parents. In addition, Mormon women, although asked to make the raising of children their priority, can work outside the home if they have no children or if they have a financial need. Whether or not her income is necessary is left to the discretion of the husband and wife.

The husband presides over the home as the priesthood holder, but this does not mean he is the boss. To preside, in Mormon terms, means to lead by example. It is his responsibility to live as morally as possible so he sets the proper example and pattern for the home. Husbands and wives are considered equal partners in the home. When a decision needs to be made, the husband and wife make it together. If they come to a complete deadlock, the wife often chooses to turn it over to her husband, but this only increases the likelihood she will get what she wants. When he has the final decision, church teachings on respect for wives mean he will usually decide to do things her way. However, since they make important decisions through prayer, they seldom reach those sorts of impasses.

Church leadership is all done by laymen, with roles changing regularly. There are many positions to fill and nearly everyone holds a position. Priesthood is a service position, not a power position, and Mormons have many, many ways to serve.

In most churches, the minister will pray publicly, give sermons, counsel others, and plan programs. Mormon women can do all of these things. Opening and closing prayers are given by different people each week and anyone, male or female, who is twelve or older can offer those prayers at the start and end of the worship service.

Instead of one sermon given by the same person each week, Mormons invite two or three people to give brief sermons, called talks. Teens speak for five minutes and adults for fifteen to twenty minutes. Even children give little sermons in their children’s Primary program. They speak for two and a half minutes. These talks are given by both men and women and each person speaks about once a year. In addition, women have leadership ability over the Relief Society (women’s organization), Young Women (teen girls), and the Primary for children. Men may serve in the Primary but may not hold leadership positions. They can also serve in the literacy program, but only women may run the program, since it is done through the Relief Society.

Women hold leadership responsibilities at all levels of the church, including the international level. Although they work under the direction of the priesthood, they are generally given free reign over their work. When President Hinckley, a former Mormon prophet, was asked what they do with their women, he said they get out of the way and let them do the good work they do.

For Mormons, serving in the church is not about power and authority. All authority comes from God and all Mormons do is to carry out the work the way God has chosen. Leadership is service and it doesn’t matter how we serve God as long as we do.

Elizabeth Smart has a story to tell: hers. But it’s not just a story of tragedy and despair and the depths of human depravity. Rather, it is hope when things seem hopeless, strength and resilience in the face of overwhelming odds, and the knowledge that no matter what, God is always with us.

The now-25-year-old became a household name in the summer of 2002 when she was kidnapped from her affluent home in Salt Lake City, Utah, at the age of 14. For 9 months, her parents, family and community prayed, searched and clung to the hope that she would be found safe and alive. Her family—members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes inadvertently called the Mormon Church—worked hard to ensure that Elizabeth’s name and picture were not forgotten in the hopes that someone, somewhere would recognize her and bring her home. And through their faith, prayers and dedication, miracles happened. Elizabeth was brought home.

In the ensuing decade, Elizabeth Smart has refused to look back at her traumatic ordeal—only looking forward. She wants to show the world—and other victims—that you can move past your circumstances and find happiness. You do not need to be defined by your tragedy—but by the stronger person you become afterward. Elizabeth’s memoir, “My Story,” was released Oct. 7 in hopes that it might help others move forward after tragedy—and know that God will never abandon us in our darkest hours.

Elizabeth is Telling ‘My Story’

The Elizabeth Smart story is every parent’s worst nightmare—putting your child safely in her bed for the night and waking up to find her gone. But her rescue also brought hope to other families with missing children. In the days, months and years following Elizabeth’s return home, the Smart family asked that the public respect her privacy and allow her time to heal. She became a motivational speaker and advocate for change related to child abduction, but she held tight to the private, horrific details of her days in captivity. Now, 10 years later, Elizabeth is ready to tell her story in intimate detail—100% of what happened to her. She said:

I didn’t just want to go 10% and sugarcoat the rest. I wanted it to be really what happened and what it was like every single day I was there, because I don’t think I’m doing anyone any favors by sugarcoating it. [1]

Why now, so many years later, is she opening up? She said that people don’t often acknowledge the “just staggering” number of children who are sexually abused before the age of 18—one in 4 girls and one in 6 boys. She said:

I want to reach out to those survivors and those victims. I want them to know that these things do happen, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be defined by it for the rest of your life. You can move forward and you can be happy. [1]

Elizabeth’s advice to other victims speaks volumes as to the reasons that she waited to write a book. She said:

To have so many people speculate on what happened and what I must be going through, and just so many lies being told. It was hard. I didn’t like it. I don’t think anybody likes having people guess at what they’re going through. Privacy is so sacred and any time a victim is returned, a survivor is found and rescued, privacy is one of the greatest gifts we can give them because if they decide to share, that’s up to them and they will come forward. [2]

So Elizabeth is coming forward with her story, in her own time, and in her own way.

Faith in the Face of Fearsome Foes

Elizabeth Smart’s terrifying ordeal began on June 5, 2002, when she was taken at knifepoint from her bedroom by a bearded transient street preacher named Brian David Mitchell. She said:

To me, in my bedroom is the ultimate place in safety. I mean, I felt like that was the safest place in the world for me, so waking up in the middle of the night in my own bedroom having this strange man standing over me, someone I didn’t recognize, not only that but having a knife being held to my throat, I was terrified. I had grown up in a very happy home and I really didn’t know what the definition of fear was until that moment. That brought whole new meaning. [1]

As the street preacher, who called himself “Emmanuel,” led her out of her house and up the steep mountain trail above her home, Elizabeth said she prayed for a way to escape. She said, “All I could think was, if he could part the Red Sea for Moses, He can part some of the scrub oak for me and I can escape…[But it] didn’t happen.” [3]

Instead, she was held captive and endured unspeakable abuse at the hands of her two captors—the street preacher and his wife, Wanda Barzee. Mitchell forced her to act as his second wife, telling her that God told him to do this to her. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ, Elizabeth was taught differently. She said:

When I was kidnapped and he was telling me all of these things, I remember what my parents said: “You’ll know a person by their actions.” And so even though he was sitting there telling me that he was a prophet, that I should be thankful for what was happening to me, I was really a lucky girl—I realized that he wasn’t a good person. He was hurting me. He made me feel terrible. And growing up believing that I have a kind and loving Heavenly Father, I couldn’t believe that God had called him to do what he was doing to me. [4]

Throughout her ordeal, Elizabeth never lost faith in God nor in His goodness. She held tightly to her parents’ teachings and remembered the words of her mother: “I may not always love your choices…but I will always love you, and I will always be your mother, and nothing can ever change that.” [3] Elizabeth said she knew one thing: “My family was still there. And because of that, because I had that and because I knew that, I was able to make the decision to do whatever it took.” [5] No matter what it took, Elizabeth was going to find a way to get home to her family.

Ice-Cold Water and Other Tender Mercies from God

Elizabeth said that although “God won’t make the evil go away,” He will visit us in our afflictions. [6] She recounted one experience when the camp’s water supply ran out and she became severely dehydrated. One morning, Elizabeth said, she woke up to an ice-cold cup of water. She said she never knew where the water came from—but she knew that it was a gift from God. She said:

I could just feel the cold water running down inside of me and just how grateful I was for it. And just feeling like it was God telling me that I wasn’t forgotten, that He still knew I was there. And that He wasn’t abandoning me. [5]

Elizabeth also described how she prayed nightly for shoes, and then found a perfect-fitting pair under a bush. Other blessings include a rainstorm when her throat burned with thirst and a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal prepared by volunteers. She also said that she could feel the presence of her late grandfather. Elizabeth writes that those “tender mercies literally kept me alive.” Elizabeth says that she “never felt closer to God than I did throughout my nightmare with Mitchell.” [6]

What-Ifs and Missed Rescues— Don’t Second-Guess What Might Have Been

The armchair quarterbacks who speculate on what she and others could have or should have done need to know one thing, Elizabeth said:

You can never judge a child or a victim of any crime on what they should have done, because you weren’t there and you don’t know and you have no right just to sit in your armchair at home and say “Well, why didn’t you escape? Why didn’t you do this?” I mean, they just don’t know. That’s wrong. And I was 14. I was a little girl. And I had seen this man successfully kidnap me, he successfully chained me up, he successfully raped me, he successfully did all of these things. What was to say that he wouldn’t kill me when he’d make those threats to me? What was to say that he wouldn’t kill my family? [1]

And Elizabeth had heartbreakingly close near-rescues throughout her 9-month ordeal. There was the time that she heard her uncle calling for her. The time that the helicopter was just above them—so close that the trees were bending from the blades—but never saw the hidden campsite. The Salt Lake police detective who saw them at the public library—but never lifted the veil that covered her face because Mitchell said it would violate her religious beliefs. Of that incident, she said:

When he turned around and walked away, being 100% convinced that it wasn’t me, I mean, it felt like I was being kidnapped all over again. I mean, it felt like I was being stolen from my family again and being ripped away from my life and my happiness. [2]

And there were others, but ultimately, Elizabeth herself outwitted Mitchell at his own game.

Elizabeth Manipulates the ‘Master Manipulator’

After the close call with the Salt Lake police detective, Mitchell and his wife took Elizabeth to Southern California—where she encountered a few more near rescues. Although only a 15-year-old, self-described naïve child, Elizabeth soon realized that her best chance of escape lie in Salt Lake. She said that Mitchell started talking about going the East Coast—New York or Boston. But, she said her thinking was:

We have to get back to Salt Lake. There’s no way anyone was going to find me if I don’t. But there’s every reason for them not to want to go back to Salt Lake, every reason in the world for that to be the last place for them to ever go. [2]

Elizabeth said that she knew her captors wielded religion as a tool for manipulating others—and that it was wrong. But she prayed that if just once, God would let this idea work—she would never ever do it again. She knew the only way Mitchell would take them to Salt Lake was if he thought the idea was his. [3] She said:

I remember turning around and facing my captors and just telling them, “I just have this feeling and I know that God would never speak to me, but I know he’ll speak to you because you’re his servant. You’re practically his best friend. Could you please ask him if we’re supposed to go back to Salt Lake, because this feeling, it just won’t leave me and, this is just crazy coming from me, but if you ask him I know he’ll tell you.” And so he did end up asking. And that was how it was decided we’d go back to Salt Lake. [2]

‘Are You Elizabeth Smart?’

Soon after the trio’s return to Salt Lake City—on March 12, 2003—they were walking down State Street in the nearby suburb of Sandy. They had just been in Walmart, where Mitchell shoplifted hiking shoes and other items. Elizabeth said:

I remembered all these cars pulled up and then the policemen jumped out of their cars and they came over and surrounded us and started asking questions. And my two captors, they kept giving the answers and the officers started to ask me questions. [2]

Initially, Elizabeth gave the officers the back story that Mitchell had prepared for her. She said, “I was scared. I was petrified.” [2] Elizabeth writes in her book:

“She’s scared,” one of the other officers whispered from the back. “She doesn’t dare say anything.”

The officers huddled together, a couple of them keeping their eyes on Mitchell and me. Barzee seemed to have melted into the background. It was as if no one cared that she was even there.

“She’s scared of him,” the officer said to the others. “She’s too scared to even answer. You’ve got to get her by herself.” [7]

So the officers separated her from her captors. Elizabeth said:

At first, I was still really scared. I kept giving the answers that I had been told to give, and then finally one of the officers said, “Well, if you’re Elizabeth Smart, your family misses you so much and they love you so much and they have never given up hope on you the entire nine months you’re gone. Don’t you want to go back home to your family?” And it was just at that point that I felt like, well, no matter what the consequences are, I don’t care, I want to go home. [2]

Then, she said:

I told them that I was Elizabeth Smart. It was scary because I didn’t know if they thought I had done something wrong or if they had thought I had run away. I didn’t know what they were thinking. [2]

The officers took Elizabeth to a Salt Lake City police station and put her in a room by herself.

Not long after that, the door flew open and her dad ran in. Elizabeth said:

I knew in that moment that nobody would ever be able to hurt me again in the way my captors had. No matter what lay in front of me, it was going to be okay, because my dad was there. [3]

Hope and Healing After Tragedy

The trauma of Elizabeth’s captivity sets the stage for the miracles that happened after her rescue. Not long after Elizabeth returned home, her mom gave her the best advice she ever received:

My mom said, “Elizabeth, what this man has done to you is terrible, and there aren’t words to describe how wicked and evil he is…but the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy. Move forward and follow your dreams and do exactly what you want to do. You may never feel like justice has been served, but you don’t need to worry about that because in the end, God is our ultimate judge, and He will make up every pain and every suffering that you’ve gone through. Those who don’t receive their just reward here will certainly receive it in the next life, so you don’t have a reason to hold on to that. If you relive it, you’re only allowing him to steal more of your life away from you.”

That’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given, and I have tried to live it every single day. We always have a choice to move forward, to make a difference. I like to think that we’re not defined by what happens to us…because so many times they’re beyond our control. I like to think that we’re defined by our choices and our decisions. [3]

Elizabeth said:

Healing takes a lot of different forms, and it’s different for everybody. There’s not a wrong way, there’s not a right way. And for me, I’ve had a lot of different therapies. [8]

For Elizabeth, who plays the harp, her therapy included music as well as riding horses, her family and her faith. [8]

Life is So Good: Elizabeth is Choosing Her Happily Ever After

Elizabeth Smart took her mother’s advice to heart—and has lived it to the best of her ability. She served a proselytizing mission for The Church of Jesus Christ. She got married last year. And her book is expected to be a best seller. She said:

It couldn’t get better than that, right? I’ve got great dogs. I’ve got a great family. I mean, I couldn’t be happier. …That happened to me. But I’m so much more than that girl that was kidnapped. [2]

Chris Stewart—with whom Elizabeth wrote her memoir, which was published by St. Martin’s Press—said:

She is one of the most compelling people I have ever met in the sense that she absolutely refuses to view herself as a victim who is going to let this unbelievable experience define her ability to be happy for the rest of her life. It’s inspiring. I think one of the main reasons she wanted to write this book was to show people that. …

Some people have challenges that the rest of us look at and wonder how they endure, and yet Elizabeth will tell you that life is always good, that there is always hope that life will get better, and we decide whether we are happy or not. [9]

Elizabeth’s captors are in prison for their crimes, and she has moved on with her life. She is working as an advocate on children’s issues, using her experience to help others. She said:

I have let go of the past. I have let go of what they have done to me. And I’ve let go of them. They no longer have a part in my life, and I have no desire to see them. I have just moved on….

Although I never asked to be kidnapped or for something like that to happen to me, I can find that goodness can still come out of it, and that I can be grateful for the opportunities that it’s opened up to me that otherwise wouldn’t have been. [4]

Elizabeth Smart has a story to tell: hers. But it’s not just a story of tragedy and despair and the depths of human depravity. Rather, it is hope when things seem hopeless, strength and resilience in the face of overwhelming odds, and the knowledge that no matter what, God is always with us.

The now-25-year-old became a household name in the summer of 2002 when she was kidnapped from her affluent home in Salt Lake City, Utah, at the age of 14. For 9 months, her parents, family and community prayed, searched and clung to the hope that she would be found safe and alive. Her family—members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes inadvertently called the Mormon Church—worked hard to ensure that Elizabeth’s name and picture were not forgotten in the hopes that someone, somewhere would recognize her and bring her home. And through their faith, prayers and dedication, miracles happened. Elizabeth was brought home.

In the ensuing decade, Elizabeth Smart has refused to look back at her traumatic ordeal—only looking forward. She wants to show the world—and other victims—that you can move past your circumstances and find happiness. You do not need to be defined by your tragedy—but by the stronger person you become afterward. Elizabeth’s memoir, “My Story,” was released Oct. 7 in hopes that it might help others move forward after tragedy—and know that God will never abandon us in our darkest hours.

Elizabeth is Telling ‘My Story’

The Elizabeth Smart story is every parent’s worst nightmare—putting your child safely in her bed for the night and waking up to find her gone. But her rescue also brought hope to other families with missing children. In the days, months and years following Elizabeth’s return home, the Smart family asked that the public respect her privacy and allow her time to heal. She became a motivational speaker and advocate for change related to child abduction, but she held tight to the private, horrific details of her days in captivity. Now, 10 years later, Elizabeth is ready to tell her story in intimate detail—100% of what happened to her. She said:

I didn’t just want to go 10% and sugarcoat the rest. I wanted it to be really what happened and what it was like every single day I was there, because I don’t think I’m doing anyone any favors by sugarcoating it. [1]

Why now, so many years later, is she opening up? She said that people don’t often acknowledge the “just staggering” number of children who are sexually abused before the age of 18—one in 4 girls and one in 6 boys. She said:

I want to reach out to those survivors and those victims. I want them to know that these things do happen, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be defined by it for the rest of your life. You can move forward and you can be happy. >[1]

Elizabeth’s advice to other victims speaks volumes as to the reasons that she waited to write a book. She said:

To have so many people speculate on what happened and what I must be going through, and just so many lies being told. It was hard. I didn’t like it. I don’t think anybody likes having people guess at what they’re going through. Privacy is so sacred and any time a victim is returned, a survivor is found and rescued, privacy is one of the greatest gifts we can give them because if they decide to share, that’s up to them and they will come forward. [2]

So Elizabeth is coming forward with her story, in her own time, and in her own way.

Faith in the Face of Fearsome Foes

Elizabeth Smart’s terrifying ordeal began on June 5, 2002, when she was taken at knife-point from her bedroom by a bearded transient street preacher named Brian David Mitchell. She said:

To me, in my bedroom is the ultimate place in safety. I mean, I felt like that was the safest place in the world for me, so waking up in the middle of the night in my own bedroom having this strange man standing over me, someone I didn’t recognize, not only that but having a knife being held to my throat, I was terrified. I had grown up in a very happy home and I really didn’t know what the definition of fear was until that moment. That brought whole new meaning. [1]

As the street preacher, who called himself “Emmanuel,” led her out of her house and up the steep mountain trail above her home, Elizabeth said she prayed for a way to escape. She said, “All I could think was, if he could part the Red Sea for Moses, He can part some of the scrub oak for me and I can escape…[But it] didn’t happen.” [3]

Instead, she was held captive and endured unspeakable abuse at the hands of her two captors—the street preacher and his wife, Wanda Barzee. Mitchell forced her to act as his second wife, telling her that God told him to do this to her. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ, Elizabeth was taught differently. She said:

When I was kidnapped and he was telling me all of these things, I remember what my parents said: “You’ll know a person by their actions.” And so even though he was sitting there telling me that he was a prophet, that I should be thankful for what was happening to me, I was really a lucky girl—I realized that he wasn’t a good person. He was hurting me. He made me feel terrible. And growing up believing that I have a kind and loving Heavenly Father, I couldn’t believe that God had called him to do what he was doing to me. [4]

Throughout her ordeal, Elizabeth never lost faith in God nor in His goodness. She held tightly to her parents’ teachings and remembered the words of her mother: “I may not always love your choices…but I will always love you, and I will always be your mother, and nothing can ever change that.” [3] Elizabeth said she knew one thing: “My family was still there. And because of that, because I had that and because I knew that, I was able to make the decision to do whatever it took.” [5] No matter what it took, Elizabeth was going to find a way to get home to her family.

Ice-Cold Water and Other Tender Mercies from God

Elizabeth said that although “God won’t make the evil go away,” He will visit us in our afflictions. [6] She recounted one experience when the camp’s water supply ran out and she became severely dehydrated. One morning, Elizabeth said, she woke up to an ice-cold cup of water. She said she never knew where the water came from—but she knew that it was a gift from God. She said:

I could just feel the cold water running down inside of me and just how grateful I was for it. And just feeling like it was God telling me that I wasn’t forgotten, that He still knew I was there. And that He wasn’t abandoning me. [5]

Elizabeth also described how she prayed nightly for shoes, and then found a perfect-fitting pair under a bush. Other blessings include a rainstorm when her throat burned with thirst and a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal prepared by volunteers. She also said that she could feel the presence of her late grandfather. Elizabeth writes that those “tender mercies literally kept me alive.” Elizabeth says that she “never felt closer to God than I did throughout my nightmare with Mitchell.” [6]

What-Ifs and Missed Rescues— Don’t Second-Guess What Might Have Been

The armchair quarterbacks who speculate on what she and others could have or should have done need to know one thing, Elizabeth said:

You can never judge a child or a victim of any crime on what they should have done, because you weren’t there and you don’t know and you have no right just to sit in your armchair at home and say “Well, why didn’t you escape? Why didn’t you do this?” I mean, they just don’t know. That’s wrong. And I was 14. I was a little girl. And I had seen this man successfully kidnap me, he successfully chained me up, he successfully raped me, he successfully did all of these things. What was to say that he wouldn’t kill me when he’d make those threats to me? What was to say that he wouldn’t kill my family? [1]

And Elizabeth had heartbreakingly close near-rescues throughout her 9-month ordeal. There was the time that she heard her uncle calling for her. The time that the helicopter was just above them—so close that the trees were bending from the blades—but never saw the hidden campsite. The Salt Lake police detective who saw them at the public library—but never lifted the veil that covered her face because Mitchell said it would violate her religious beliefs. Of that incident, she said:

When he turned around and walked away, being 100% convinced that it wasn’t me, I mean, it felt like I was being kidnapped all over again. I mean, it felt like I was being stolen from my family again and being ripped away from my life and my happiness. [2]

And there were others, but ultimately, Elizabeth herself outwitted Mitchell at his own game.

Elizabeth Manipulates the ‘Master Manipulator’

After the close call with the Salt Lake police detective, Mitchell and his wife took Elizabeth to Southern California—where she encountered a few more near rescues. Although only a 15-year-old, self-described naïve child, Elizabeth soon realized that her best chance of escape lie in Salt Lake. She said that Mitchell started talking about going the East Coast—New York or Boston. But, she said her thinking was:

We have to get back to Salt Lake. There’s no way anyone was going to find me if I don’t. But there’s every reason for them not to want to go back to Salt Lake, every reason in the world for that to be the last place for them to ever go. [2]

Elizabeth said that she knew her captors wielded religion as a tool for manipulating others—and that it was wrong. But she prayed that if just once, God would let this idea work—she would never ever do it again. She knew the only way Mitchell would take them to Salt Lake was if he thought the idea was his. [3] She said:

I remember turning around and facing my captors and just telling them, “I just have this feeling and I know that God would never speak to me, but I know he’ll speak to you because you’re his servant. You’re practically his best friend. Could you please ask him if we’re supposed to go back to Salt Lake, because this feeling, it just won’t leave me and, this is just crazy coming from me, but if you ask him I know he’ll tell you.” And so he did end up asking. And that was how it was decided we’d go back to Salt Lake. [2]

‘Are You Elizabeth Smart?’

Soon after the trio’s return to Salt Lake City—on March 12, 2003—they were walking down State Street in the nearby suburb of Sandy. They had just been in Walmart, where Mitchell shoplifted hiking shoes and other items. Elizabeth said:

I remembered all these cars pulled up and then the policemen jumped out of their cars and they came over and surrounded us and started asking questions. And my two captors, they kept giving the answers and the officers started to ask me questions. [2]

Initially, Elizabeth gave the officers the back story that Mitchell had prepared for her. She said, “I was scared. I was petrified.” [2] Elizabeth writes in her book:

“She’s scared,” one of the other officers whispered from the back. “She doesn’t dare say anything.”

The officers huddled together, a couple of them keeping their eyes on Mitchell and me. Barzee seemed to have melted into the background. It was as if no one cared that she was even there.

“She’s scared of him,” the officer said to the others. “She’s too scared to even answer. You’ve got to get her by herself.” [7]

So the officers separated her from her captors. Elizabeth said:

At first, I was still really scared. I kept giving the answers that I had been told to give, and then finally one of the officers said, “Well, if you’re Elizabeth Smart, your family misses you so much and they love you so much and they have never given up hope on you the entire nine months you’re gone. Don’t you want to go back home to your family?” And it was just at that point that I felt like, well, no matter what the consequences are, I don’t care, I want to go home. [2]

Then, she said:

I told them that I was Elizabeth Smart. It was scary because I didn’t know if they thought I had done something wrong or if they had thought I had run away. I didn’t know what they were thinking. [2]

The officers took Elizabeth to a Salt Lake City police station and put her in a room by herself.

Not long after that, the door flew open and her dad ran in. Elizabeth said:

I knew in that moment that nobody would ever be able to hurt me again in the way my captors had. No matter what lay in front of me, it was going to be okay, because my dad was there. [3]

Hope and Healing After Tragedy

The trauma of Elizabeth’s captivity sets the stage for the miracles that happened after her rescue. Not long after Elizabeth returned home, her mom gave her the best advice she ever received:

My mom said, “Elizabeth, what this man has done to you is terrible, and there aren’t words to describe how wicked and evil he is…but the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy. Move forward and follow your dreams and do exactly what you want to do. You may never feel like justice has been served, but you don’t need to worry about that because in the end, God is our ultimate judge, and He will make up every pain and every suffering that you’ve gone through. Those who don’t receive their just reward here will certainly receive it in the next life, so you don’t have a reason to hold on to that. If you relive it, you’re only allowing him to steal more of your life away from you.”

That’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given, and I have tried to live it every single day. We always have a choice to move forward, to make a difference. I like to think that we’re not defined by what happens to us…because so many times they’re beyond our control. I like to think that we’re defined by our choices and our decisions. [3]

Elizabeth said:

Healing takes a lot of different forms, and it’s different for everybody. There’s not a wrong way, there’s not a right way. And for me, I’ve had a lot of different therapies. [8]

For Elizabeth, who plays the harp, her therapy included music as well as riding horses, her family and her faith. [8]

Life is So Good: Elizabeth is Choosing Her Happily Ever After

Elizabeth Smart took her mother’s advice to heart—and has lived it to the best of her ability. She served a proselytizing mission for The Church of Jesus Christ. She got married last year. And her book is expected to be a best seller. She said:

It couldn’t get better than that, right? I’ve got great dogs. I’ve got a great family. I mean, I couldn’t be happier. …That happened to me. But I’m so much more than that girl that was kidnapped. [2]

Chris Stewart—with whom Elizabeth wrote her memoir, which was published by St. Martin’s Press—said:

She is one of the most compelling people I have ever met in the sense that she absolutely refuses to view herself as a victim who is going to let this unbelievable experience define her ability to be happy for the rest of her life. It’s inspiring. I think one of the main reasons she wanted to write this book was to show people that. …

Some people have challenges that the rest of us look at and wonder how they endure, and yet Elizabeth will tell you that life is always good, that there is always hope that life will get better, and we decide whether we are happy or not. [9]

Elizabeth’s captors are in prison for their crimes, and she has moved on with her life. She is working as an advocate on children’s issues, using her experience to help others. She said:

I have let go of the past. I have let go of what they have done to me. And I’ve let go of them. They no longer have a part in my life, and I have no desire to see them. I have just moved on….

Although I never asked to be kidnapped or for something like that to happen to me, I can find that goodness can still come out of it, and that I can be grateful for the opportunities that it’s opened up to me that otherwise wouldn’t have been. [4]

The Mormon view of womanhood has been a traditional one, but it is one that allows for diversity of practice. It outlines the ideal but does not penalize or judge women who are not living in ideal situations. For instance, while teaching that where possible, women have primary responsibility for child care (but are to be assisted by their spouse), the Church also teaches that others must not judge a woman who is employed. The Lord and the leaders of the Church know there are extenuating circumstances that might necessitate mothers working outside the home (and many Mormon moms do). That is between the family and God.

The Origin of Mormon Beliefs about Gender

Mormons believe that all people were created as spirits by God prior to their birth. As spirits, we had gender, personality, intelligence, and agency. Our spirits resembled our mortal appearance but lacked the substance of a physical body. We lived in this form for a time before we were born into mortality. During the period of pre-mortal life, we began to develop our character. We had many opportunities to learn and to make choices. We were taught the gospel of Jesus Christ, but it was left to us to decide whether or not we wanted to live what was taught. Decisions always have consequences, however, and the decisions we made prior to our birth were no exception.

We were taught God’s plan of salvation, which gave us the opportunity to come to earth to gain bodies, families, and experience. We would retain the gender we had in the pre-mortal life, and we were taught the roles we would fill, both as children of God and as people of our gender. We agreed to all of this. Those who rejected Jesus Christ’s voluntary offer to be our Savior were not permitted to come to Earth. All who are here accepted the plan[1]  God presented to us. It was not negotiated. God created the terms of the plan, and those who wished to live by the terms were permitted to come to earth. Those who did not followed Satan, who was the leader of the opposition. We had our agency, but only to choose who to worship and follow. The consequences, as is true of all consequences, were not ours to choose.

We were not permitted to remember our time in Heaven, although Mormons teach that we can pray to confirm that it occurred. However, the fact that we cannot remember—because doing so would remove the essential need to learn faith—does not excuse us from what we promised. Our promise to honor and respect the assigned roles of each gender is essential to our successful fulfillment of the purposes of mortality.

Women in the Creation of the World

When God created the world, He began with just two people. One was male, and He named him Adam. Then He created Eve, a woman who would serve as Adam’s wife and helpmeet. She would also be the mother of the children they would have together.

The word helpmeet is actually meant to be two separate words that were inadvertently translated as one in the King James Bible. The word meet means fitting or proper. The full term, then, means that Eve was chosen, because she was a proper wife for Adam, because she was like Adam in her talents, aptitude and spiritual stature. It is likely that they had corresponding levels of faith and obedience and that both were competent to handle their specific responsibilities.

President Spencer W. Kimball said the term man in the creation story refers to the complete man, meaning both the husband and wife, who together make a complete unit. He said that God created the family complete with instructions on how they were to operate: Adam to till the ground (support the family) and Eve to have primary responsibility for the children. Neither role was optional. If Adam did not till, the family would not have food or clothing. If Eve did not care for her children, they would die or fail to be prepared for life. Both roles were equally valuable, because without either one, the world could not progress. By assigning each a role, it reduced arguments and discontent. Those who trusted God would find joy in filling the role He chose for them and both parts of the family’s needs would be met[2] .

President Kimball noted that when the creation was complete, God declared it good. God is perfect, and His plan and creation is perfect. This means, President Kimball explained, that we cannot possibly improve on the plan God put into place. (See President Spencer W. Kimball, “The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood,” Ensign, March 1976.)

The message of the creation, in the study of gender, is that God does indeed approve of dividing the work of the world by gender. He chose that children would be born only to women, and He assigned their care to women. God is not sexist, and so we can understand that it is merely one way to divide the work, not a statement on worth. In fact, God has made it clear throughout the scriptures that children are important, and their proper care is a sacred duty. This helps us to see that parenting is not a demeaning role. It is the sacred gift of being permitted to help raise God’s beloved children.

Jesus and Women in the New Testament

Jesus Christ was absolutely fearless in His ministry. He never worried about what would be popular or politically correct. He did only what His Father in Heaven taught Him to do. Therefore, it is valuable to look at how He organized His Church in order to see how He wants the Church organized today.

Jesus had many women in His life, all of whom He treated with great respect. He did not see them as “merely” homemakers, but considered them intelligent. He expected them to study, to learn, and to be disciples of Christ.

The story of Mary and Martha illustrates the dual nature of womanhood expected by God. When the Savior came to their home, both women sat at Jesus’ feet to learn from Him. However, mealtime approached, and Martha went to prepare the meal. It appears that rather than quickly preparing something they could eat without taking too much time away from the opportunity to learn, she set out to create an elaborate meal. Martha is, of course, like most women. When we have honored guests, we want to give them our best. Her best required a great deal of effort, though, particularly in this time before modern conveniences, and she became tired and frustrated, because she was trying to prepare this meal alone, when she really wanted to be in the other room learning from the Savior.

She asked Jesus to make her sister help her. To her surprise, He did not do so. He praised Martha for her concern for domestic things, but suggested that at this particular moment, the focus should be on the spiritual. There is a time when domestic concerns should take priority, and a time when the spiritual comes first. He taught Martha that He honored both the domestic roles of women and the intellectual and spiritual roles. He expected them to learn the gospel, even while fulfilling their roles as homemakers.

When Jesus Christ began His ministry, He chose twelve apostles. We know who they were. Each of the four gospels names them:

Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphæus, and Lebbæus, whose surname was Thaddæus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him (Matthew 10:2-5).

All of those called to be apostles were men. When new apostles were required, they were also men. It is important to note that apostles and disciples are not the same. The Bible Dictionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints defines a disciple as, “A pupil or learner; a name used to denote (1) the Twelve, also called Apostles, (2) all followers of Jesus Christ. We also read of disciples of John the Baptist and of the Pharisees (Mark 2:18).” While the apostles were all disciples, the disciples were not all apostles.

We can presume, given the number of amazing women in Jesus’ life and world, that had it been desirable to select female apostles, He would have done so. He is not sexist, any more than His Father in Heaven is, and He certainly had wonderful women to choose from, including Mary and Martha, who were discussed above. The fact that He did not, and that He came to set the example and pattern, tells us that apostleship and priesthood were simply not the assignments God chose for women.

Mormons teach that women have long been organized, so we can presume there were women’s organizations like the modern Mormon Relief Society in place and that these women served in those capacities. Their work in the ministry was vital to its success. They provided the Savior with housing and food as needed, but they also listened and learned as He taught. They took the message to their own children and prepared them to face the intense persecutions that would face the early Christians after the Crucifixion. Their parenting helped to ensure the Church would continue when Christ was gone. We can guess that they served in other ways, even when they are not specifically mentioned. Paul noted that older women were to teach younger women how to serve in the Church. They played an important role as disciples in the Church, and ordination was not required in order to make an eternal difference, because ordination didn’t happen to be their specific responsibility.

Women in Early Mormonism

From the beginning, Mormon women played unusually powerful roles in their Church, roles frequently denied women in other religions. The structure of the Church and the early challenges created strong, opinionated, and faithful women. Those who were not strong often did not survive the many challenges of early Mormonism, and so those who remained faithful were a powerful force.

Although today’s missionaries are unmarried or serve as couples, in the early church, married men served missions. They were away for many months and sometimes for years, often coming home for a short time before leaving again. This meant the women were left to support the family, since missionaries were unpaid, to run the home, and to raise the children. They became very skilled at labors traditionally handled by men. They knew how to manage money and to make decisions. It is no surprise, then, that they had far more rights than the women living traditional roles outside the Mormon communities. When their husbands were home, they honored his role as the leader of the home, but they did not stop being competent and independent.

Jane Manning

Jane Manning, an African-American convert to The Church of Jesus Christ, represents the independence and competence of Mormon women. A year after her baptism, she and eight members of her family decided to move to Nauvoo, Illinois, where the Mormons were then gathered. They were not slaves, but Jane had been employed since early childhood and was very mature. Jane, still a teenager, took on the role of leader for this group of travelers. Although they began their journey with a racially integrated group, they were separated when a boat captain refused to allow the African American passengers to board. The reason for this is not clear—Jane’s dictated autobiography says the money was requested too soon—but Jane and her family were forced to continue on by foot, knowing the journey would be simpler with a smaller group. The journey was long and dangerous, particularly when they were mistaken for runaway slaves. Since they had never been slaves, they had no freedom papers to prove they were free.

Jane’s group traveled 800 miles by foot, often with their bleeding feet leaving a trail of blood in the snow. They had little food, and their shoes did not last the trip. Eventually, however, they came to Nauvoo and were directed to Joseph Smith’s home. Joseph Smith was the first Mormon prophet. His wife Emma saw them approaching and called them to her. Joseph brought them to the table and invited them to join the family for their meal. He asked Jane for a report of their journey. Then he invited them to remain in his home until they found employment and houses. When all but Jane had been placed, Joseph and Emma hired Jane themselves.

Eliza R. Snow

Eliza R. Snow was an outspoken Mormon leader. She exemplified the strong, outspoken nature of Mormon women in pioneer Utah. Governor Boggs of Missouri, who issued the infamous extermination order on Mormons, was startled to discover that Eliza R. Snow was not afraid of him. He said he was going to “cure” her of her Mormonism after she confronted him concerning the order. She told him it would take a great deal more than he could do to carry out that threat, and he backed down, admitting that she was a better soldier than he was. She said later she didn’t consider that much of a compliment.

Eliza was the sister of future Mormon prophet Lorenzo Snow, and it was she who converted him. She taught school in response to Joseph Smith’s determination to see to it that Mormon girls were well-educated. She refused a number of marriage proposals, but agreed to be married to Joseph Smith as a plural wife two years before his death. After his death, she was married to Brigham Young, the second Mormon prophet, but this appears to have been a courtesy on his part, and the two were simply very good friends. However, he valued her intelligence and competence and would use her in increasingly important roles in the Church.

She was an author and poet, but her most valuable contribution might have been her fierce defense of Mormon women. When the women wanted to re-establish the Relief Society, the women’s auxiliary, in Utah, Brigham Young asked Eliza to help each congregation set up an organization. She was called to preside over all the branches in 1880, but served unofficially in that role long before, helping to organize 300 branches of the program. She worked to fulfill Brigham Young’s request that women become more self-sufficient. To this end, she taught them to store wheat for emergencies, to raise silk as a way of providing income, and to receive medical training. Many Mormon women went to medical school to become doctors or nurses long before it was considered acceptable for women to do so. She directed women’s suffrage activities through the Relief Society.

Women’s Suffrage in Utah

Mormon women had been permitted to vote before Utah became a state. When they achieved statehood, the federal government removed that privilege. Naturally, the women were furious. With the full support of Brigham Young and other men in the Church, Mormon women fought hard to regain their rights.

One month before Utah women regained the right to vote as the second state to offer it to women, Eliza R. Snow gave a speech at a meeting on women’s rights in Utah:

Our enemies pretend that, in Utah, woman is held in a state of vassalage—that she does not act from choice, but by coercion. What nonsense!

I will now ask of this assemblage of intelligent ladies, Do you know of any place on the face of the earth, where woman has more liberty and where she enjoys such high and glorious privileges as she does here as a Latter-day Saint? No! the very idea of a woman here in a state of slavery is a burlesque on good common sense … as women of God, filling high and responsible positions, performing sacred duties—women who stand not as dictators, but as counselors to their husbands, and who, in the purest, noblest sense of refined womanhood, are truly their helpmates—we not only speak because we have the right, but justice and humanity demands we should!  (quoted in Jaynann Morgan Payne, “Eliza R. Snow: First Lady of the Pioneers,” Ensign, Sep 1973, 62).

Emmaline B. Wells

Emmaline B. Wells was a leader in the Women’s Suffrage Organization in Utah. Abandoned by her first husband and widowed by her second, she then married polygamist Daniel Wells. She was a school teacher and then a writer. After her marriage to Wells, she eventually became editor of the second women’s magazine, the Women’s Exponent. The magazine’s goal was to encourage women to be knowledgeable concerning politics and world events. Through her work with this publication, she met many of the leaders of the women’s movement and developed a friendship with Susan B. Anthony. Emmaline B. Wells was vice-president of the Women’s Suffrage Association and was serving in that position when Utah women successfully won back the right to vote.

While many argued that polygamy was a violation of the aims of the women’s movement, she said she had more freedom to do whatever she wanted than did women in non-polygamist marriages. Her husband divided his time between his wives, and this allowed her the freedom, time, and money to have her own life and career.

When she died, Utah flags were flown at half-mast, the first time this had been done for a woman, and the president of the Church spoke at her funeral.

Mormon Women Today

Mormon history is filled with women such as these, but today’s Mormonism also has strong and capable women. The structure of the modern church gives women opportunities to learn leadership and life skills that are unique among most churches.

Continuing the calls by Jesus, Joseph Smith, and Brigham Young for women to be well-educated, the Mormons encourage literacy and education among its members. The Relief Society operates a literacy program that helps people learn to read in just a year and a half. While men may take the classes and teach them, the literacy leader must be female—not because men couldn’t lead it but because it is not their responsibility. It is a Relief Society program and the responsibility of the women. The program encourages those who complete the literacy program to then become teachers in it, helping them to go from illiterate to teacher in just a few years. Many congregations also offer classes to help people learn the native language. These skills allow women to better support their families or to train their children. Employment specialists help them find better jobs.

In most religions, restricting the priesthood to men means that women have few opportunities to participate in the ministry. This also holds true for men who do not enter the ministry. This situation is not valid in Mormonism.

Mormons operate a lay church, and because they have extensive staffing needs, nearly everyone has a volunteer church job, referred to as a “calling.” In addition, the bishop—a lay pastor—does not give the weekly sermon or say the prayers during services. Each member of the congregation has an opportunity to do this. Sermons, called talks, are given by two to three people each week. Teenagers twelve and older speak for five minutes and adults for ten to twenty minutes, depending on whether or not there are youth speakers. The opening and closing prayers for worship services are also given by congregational members. While most churches allow one or two people to preach or pray, Mormons give this opportunity to every teen and adult, male and female. They were doing so long before most churches accepted women into the ministry.

The Relief Society, while an auxiliary, is a very important one that works to protect the interests of women in the church. It operates with its own leadership under the direction of the priesthood, but has a great deal of autonomy. Gordon B. Hinckley, who was the Mormon president of the Church, said in 2000:

Of these, approximately 4 million are women who belong to what we call the Relief Society of the Church. I think it is the oldest women’s organization in the world and perhaps the largest. It has its own officers and board, and these officers also sit on other boards and committees of the Church. People wonder what we do for our women. I will tell you what we do. We get out of their way and look with wonder at what they are accomplishing.

The Relief Society’s programs are of as much value as any program in the Church. Only women can lead and serve in it, except in the literacy program, where, as mentioned, men can serve but not lead. They have a three-woman presidency at the congregational level and at the stake level. A stake is similar to a Catholic diocese, and comprises a number of congregations in a geographical area. In addition, a group of three women lead at the international level, and this gives them authority over more women than any CEO in the world. This same pattern is followed by the Young Women program for teenage girls, and the Primary program for children, both of which are led only by women. However, in the Primary program, men may serve as teachers and Cub Scout leaders, but may not serve in the presidency of the organization. All men serve under female leaders.

The Relief Society oversees the majority of humanitarian work in a congregation, which is naturally an essential part of any religious organization. The Relief Society president works with the bishop to provide for families with temporary food insecurity or other temporal needs. She sees to it that each woman has visiting teachers—two women who visit, establish a true friendship, and meet or report any special needs the woman might have. This program has received awards from organizations for senior citizens because it helps to provide companionship and protection for elderly women who live alone.

The program also offers both temporal and spiritual education. In the past, the Relief Society operated medical schools, hospitals, and social service agencies. Today, the organization runs programs on a more local level to meet the unique needs of a world-wide church. They offer classes and clubs in any field of interest to the women in a congregation—genealogy, home repair, languages, and literature, for instance, each congregation chooses its own, generally from suggestions made by members of the congregation.

At each level, women sit on the boards that lead the congregation. Linda K. Burton spoke of her work at the international level of the Church:

“I’m especially thinking of one particular committee that you both were on with me when we talked about missionary age of the — changing the missionary age for the members of the Church, and that was a marvelous experience. At one point in that committee meeting, Elder Nelson stopped and said, ‘We don’t want to hear from anyone except the sisters,’ and then one by one he asked us our opinion: ‘How do you feel about this Sister Dalton? How do you feel about this, Sister Wixom? Sister Burton, what is your feeling? Tell us your honest opinion, and if you have concerns, we want to know.’ And we were very frank.” (SeeTRANSCRIPT:Top Mormon Women Leaders Provide Their Insights into Church Leadership.)

Mormon Women and Priesthood

The three women in the video referenced above, all of whom held the highest positions in the Church for women, spoke of the priesthood:

“There’s a distinction between the authority of the priesthood and the power of the priesthood. And I think sometimes people don’t understand that. It can be — the authority can be conferred upon a man, but the power can only be exercised in purity,” Elaine S. Dalton said. Sister Burton added that men receive its power in the same way women do. She noted that the priesthood isn’t men. They can only use it to bless others. They cannot use it to bless themselves. If a man needs a priesthood ordinance performed for him, he too must seek out one or two priesthood holders to do so. He cannot give himself a blessing, baptize himself, or carry out any of the other ordinances at which the priesthood officiates.

Priesthood is a method of serving God, and through it, the bearers can serve others. The Church provides a multitude of ways for every person, even young children, to serve God, and no specific assignment is more important than any other. What matters is that the work of the kingdom be done—not who does it. Every member’s contribution is counted as equally valid and valuable before God.

With the work of Relief Society sisters, we help build up the kingdom and strengthen the homes of Zion. No other organization in the Church can do the service Relief Society does. (Silvia H. Allred, Previous First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency,“Every Woman Needs Relief Society,” General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, October 2009).

“We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who: Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study. Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes. Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood. Delight in service and good works. Love life and learning. Stand for truth and righteousness. Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth. Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation.”

This declaration focuses on the most important aspects of Christianity, particularly for women. Mormon women focus on learning the teachings and example of the Savior, because, as Jesus taught Mary and Martha, women also have a responsibility to learn the gospel. They take those teachings and put them into practice in their own lives, regardless of the life they find themselves living.

While the world puts motherhood down as unimportant, Mormon women know it is the greatest honor God gives to women. They understand that if they are blessed with children, they are being given responsibility to raise one of God’s own children. Is there any higher honor than this? God loves each of His children and wants the best for them—it is a mother’s primary responsibility to make sure that happens. One of the Savior’s last actions before being hung on the cross was to make sure His mother would be cared for. He knew family mattered, and Mormon women make an effort to do the same. If they don’t have children, they are encouraged to support mothers or to help children in other ways.

Mormon women are encouraged to set high moral standards and to live them even when it’s hard or the world mocks them for it. They understand that this life is a small part of the eternal life we’ve been given and we have to live with an eye toward the eternal. The things of this world are temporary and the world’s standards are always changing. God’s standards do not change and Jesus Christ taught a moral standard that could withstand the test of time. Mormon women try to live their lives to those eternal standards because they love and trust the Savior. Through this, as the declaration states, they gain eternal strength.

The declaration calls on Mormon women to understand their destiny. Their destiny is not honor, praise, wealth, or popularity in this world. It is to live the life the Savior called them to live. Mormon women are followers of Jesus Christ.

Church services in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes inadvertently referred to as the “Mormon Church” in the media) are divided into three segments. The first and most important segment is Sacrament meeting, where members meet together to partake of the sacrament of the Lord’s supper and hear talks given by various members of the congregation. The second segment is Sunday School. During the third segment, members split into various groups and attend separate meetings: Priesthood Meeting for the men, Relief Society for the women, and Young Men/Young Women meetings for the youth. “Primary”activities and classes are provided for children 18 months to 12 years of age during both the second and third segments.

Mormon Women As Leaders and Teachers

Women are equal participants as teachers and leaders in every one of these church programs except for Priesthood Meeting. Along with the men, they pray and speak in Sacrament Meetings, conduct music, provide piano and organ prelude and accompaniment, and participate in choir and music programs. Similarly, both women and men teach and lead Sunday school classes. Women alone preside over the Primary program, although both men and women teach Primary classes. Women are the teachers and leaders of the Young Women, while men teach and lead the young men. Most importantly, however, the women of the church lead, teach, and comprise the Relief Society – their exclusive domain.

What is the Relief Society?

The Prophet Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of Mormonism, organized the Relief Society on March 17, 1842. A group of women had met together, desiring to assist the poor and suffering in the community, and had come to the prophet so that they might be organized under priesthood authority. Joseph Smith taught that the Relief Society was organized for “the relief of the poor, the destitute, the widow and the orphan, and for the exercise of all benevolent purposes” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith [2007], 452). In addition, he taught that the Relief Society was “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls” (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 453). Thus the Relief Society, which is by now one of the oldest and largest women’s organizations in the world, was born.

The Work of the Relief Society

In the Handbook of Instructions (Book 2) for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it states that the purpose of the Relief Society today is to prepare women for “the blessings of eternal life by helping them increase their faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and help those in need.” These purposes are accomplished in various ways. Mormon women teach and learn the gospel from one another in Sunday Relief Society meetings and other Relief Society meetings and activities. Weekday activities focus on additional ways to strengthen families. Humanitarian projects are regularly organized. And Visiting Teachers make sure that the Relief Society is aware of any special needs in the congregation, and that those needs are met.

Visiting Teaching

Visiting Teaching is a Relief Society program where each woman in the Mormon congregation is watched over and visited regularly by a pair of Relief Society members. Visiting Teachers care for, remember, strengthen, and teach the women to whom they are assigned. The women of Relief Society refer to one another as “sisters,” and try to fulfill that role for one another. Visiting Teachers are aware of any special needs the sisters and families they visit might have from time to time, and call upon the resources of the Relief Society as needed. Each woman in Relief Society has a pair of Visiting Teachers, and most are also Visiting Teachers themselves. In this way, each sister’s physical needs are met, as well as providing the opportunity for friendship, support, and spiritual instruction.

Humanitarian Work

Welfare and compassionate service are central to the work of the Mormon Relief Society. In addition to caring for one another, Mormon women are heavily involved in organizing and producing goods for the humanitarian arm of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The motto of the Relief Society is ” never faileth.” It comes from the scripture found in 1 Corinthians 13:8, which reads:

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

gThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an effective welfare system in place to provide for the needs of members who are experiencing financial difficulties. Mormons throughout the world also contribute goods and services to the humanitarian efforts of the church, which provide for people throughout the world who are suffering from poverty, illness, or natural disaster. Mormon women, members of the Relief Society, are key in organizing and producing whatever is needed.

Becoming a Member of the Relief Society

All adult women in the Church are members of the Relief Society. Normally a young woman advances into Relief Society sometime during the year following her 18th birthday. By age 19, most young woman are fully participating in Relief Society. The leaders of Young Women and Relief Society work closely together to ensure that a young woman’s transition into Relief Society is successful.

Adult women who serve in other auxiliaries of the Church such as Primary, Young Women, or other callings that prevent them from attending Sunday Relief Society meetings continue to participate in Relief Society. They are assigned Visiting Teachers, and they themselves serve as Visiting Teachers. In addition, they may be given assignments to serve others and to teach classes at other Relief Society meetings, provided that such assignments do not pose any undue burdens on them.

As Sisters in Zion

As Sisters in Zion, Mormon women join hearts and hands to minister not only to members of the Church, but also to non-members whom they have contact with. Membersof the Relief Society serve, following Paul’s admonition:

Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees (Hebrews 12:12).

Women of other faiths and denominations who visit and attend Mormon Relief Society are welcomed with open arms and are encouraged to be active participants. Come and join in as Sisters in Zion!

Keith L. Brown is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and serves as the Ward Mission Leader in the Annapolis, Maryland Ward.

Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society

As Sisters in Zion

Visiting Teaching: Getting to the Heart

Mormon women are key players and equal partners in the work of the Lord, in families, in communities and in the world. In the words of Brigham Young, early President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

One thing is very true and we believe it, and that is that a woman is the glory of the man. …

When I reflect upon the duties and responsibilities devolving upon our mothers and sisters, and the influence they wield, I look upon them as the mainspring and soul of our being here. Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 199).

Women serve in the Mormon Church as presidents and counselors of local, area, and worldwide organizations for children, youth, and adults–known as the Primary, Young Women’s Organization, and the Relief Society. They sit in councils with their priesthood brethren and work hand-in-hand to identify issues, solve problems, bring light to ministering needs of those they serve. They pray in Church meetings, participate in ordinance work in the temples, and join in every worthy endeavor in building the kingdom. Mormon women lead, teach, and nurture children in their homes in the sacred calling of motherhood, and educate the world in their community service.

A misunderstanding of women’s roles in the Mormon Church is engendered by those who don’t know themselves and by those who wish to claim that the patriarchal order de facto creates suppression. This is false. While a coercive order (patriarchal or matriarchal) represses, such an order is outside every tenet of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Patriarchy is not synonymous with presumption and unrighteous power; it is an organized divine pattern for the release of power equally for men and women.

A rosary is a set of chained beads used to mark the recitation of certain prayers by Catholics. Typically, it consists of 50 beads, in groups of ten (a decade), with a larger bead before each decade. Specific memorized prayers are recited as a way of remembering aspects of the life and mission of the Savior. Catholics, with a deep sense of devotion and love of the Savior, reflect on His life and mission as they engage in these prayers and as they participate in the rituals and liturgy of the Catholic faith. We have great respect for their devotion to God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) don’t use a rosary, or set of beads marking a series of prayers, as used by Roman-Catholics or Anglo-Catholics.

Mormons share expressions in prayer that are self-generated, dependent on the circumstances and events in their lives a t the moment of prayer. We see prayers as personal expressions of thanks, praise, desire, sharing, and longing before the Lord, and each one as unique as the moment it’s uttered. Our prayers do follow the scriptural pattern which invites us to 1) recognize and address Father in Heaven as our Father, 2) give meaningful thanks for noticed gifts from Him in our life, 3) petition him for forgiveness, and 4) pour out our hearts to Him in the name of the Savior, Jesus Christ. Though we follow that pattern, we do not recite prescribed memorized prayers, such as the “Our Father,” for example, verbatim.

How we engage the Father is a purely personal thing and depends on how openly and honestly and deeply we wish to commune with him. Rote prayers, uttered without thought, by any of us of any faith, miss the mark in the sense that they fail to reflect deep and spontaneous engagement in conversation with God. They don’t lead us closer or bring us further along in our personal relationship any more than duplicating yesterday’s phone conversation with a friend day after day would deepen that relationship. Prayer, in the sense that we practice it, is conversation with God that draws us nearer to Him and Him to us. It involves a process of self-discovery and reaching as we tap into our deepest thoughts and share those with Him who knows us best of all, and as we receive His responses along the way.

We respect others’ faith in Jesus Christ and desire to follow Him, regardless of the differences in theology. Sharing the commonalities and differences helps us to see and understand each other better. Another difference between Catholics and Mormons in regard to prayer is illuminated through one said after the rosary, which follows:

HAIL, HOLY QUEEN, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope! To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve; to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

To Mormons, Mary is not an intercessor. We pray directly to God the Father in the name of Jesus Christ. He alone is our Advocate with the Father. We do revere Mary, as do Catholics, as the mother of Jesus Christ, and love her faith, humility, goodness, purity, and willingness to bring Jesus Christ into the world.

This rosary prayer reflects another fundamental difference between Catholics and Mormons. While we believe, as Catholics, that Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden, we also believe that the step towards becoming mortal was essential to the plan for our happiness. Mormons, therefore, rejoice that we have been gifted this possibility to learn through this imperfect earth experience, how to progress eternally and to return to our heavenly home. We see ourselves as daughters of God, as do Catholics, and also as women of great opportunity, away from home for a season, endowed with His power and the ability to become the highest in us through Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

While we rejoice in the beauty of the gospel plan, and share the commitment to Jesus Christ of many of other faiths, we differ in these respects as we pray and commune with the Father of our individual spirits, in the name of His Son, a separate Being, even Jesus Christ.

I testify that the doctrines concerning Jesus Christ have been restored to the earth, and that they can be found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.