Mormons believe life is a three-stage process, the first beginning before birth, the second during our mortal life, and the final stage our eternal lives. For most people, eternity will be spent in Heaven. Mormons know Heaven to be a wonderful place. While not everyone will live with God (because the Bible outlines the rules for returning home to God), God has prepared a wonderful home for all but the most evil. Mormons don’t believe only Mormons go to Heaven—they don’t, in fact, believe only Christians go to Heaven. You do, however, have to accept Jesus as your Savior and agree to live the principles He taught in order to live in the presence of God. Those who die without the opportunity to do so will be taught the gospel after death and be permitted to make their choice then. Those who die too young to make a choice—children under the age of eight, return directly home to God without the need for baptism. The atonement of Jesus Christ covers them. The atonement also allows everyone to be resurrected, to live forever, and to repent. It makes salvation possible.

This means that a funeral is a cause for celebration for nearly everyone and is viewed as a graduation and going away party. Of course, it is held in the chapel, so it is reverent and respectful. However, while you will see plenty of tears, you won’t see hysteria, anger, or uncontrollable grief.

When someone dies, they are buried in white. If they had a temple recommend (permission to enter a Mormon temple as a result of personal worthiness) they are buried in the white clothing they wore in the temple, which includes a white dress for women and a white shirt, pants, and tie for men.

After the viewing, the family prays together and the casket is closed. When the casket is brought to the Mormon chapel (not the Mormon temple), the guests are already seated. The casket is displayed at the front of the chapel, usually to the side by the door located at the front of the chapel. The family enters and is seated in the front rows.

Visitors will notice most people are not dressed in all black clothing. They wear church clothing if they have it—dresses or skirts for women, and sports suits for men—and the nicest thing they have if they don’t have those items. All black clothing is not required because Mormons know that death is only a transition, not the end of existence or even the end of the family. Mormons believe you take your relationships with you. Mormon marriages that occur in the Mormon temples are forever, not just this life and their children are also theirs forever. This means that while Mormons will miss the person terribly, the farewell is not forever and does not signify the end of a happy marriage or family. Who would want to live forever without their families?

The funeral begins with an opening hymn and prayer. A priesthood holder conducts the meeting—often the bishop, who is a lay pastor. There will frequently be a musical number as well, since most congregations have many skilled singers.

Rather than a single sermon, there are usually several speakers at a Mormon funeral. One will remind—or explain if some guests are not Mormon—Mormon beliefs on life after death. Since Mormons believe life after death is nearly always wonderful, this is a reassuring and upbeat talk about family reunions and eternal joy.

Following this, the focus is on the individual who died. At a recent funeral I attended, a long-time family friend shared for the young adult children of the woman who had died the story of how the parents met and the miracles, prayers, and longing that led to the births of the children. They were reminded just how much they had been wanted. Another speaker, a sibling of the deceased, gave the eulogy. Throughout the talks, there was laughter over the humorous moments of a life joyfully lived, smiles at the successes of the life, inspiration in the courage of someone who faced many trials with courage and a smile, and longing for the loss of the daily influence of this person in our lives. However, there was also joy as we pictured her life now, in the final stage, and anticipation in our future reunions with her.

For Mormons, funerals are a sad time because our friend or family member has moved far away, but joy in knowing the challenges of life are complete and the person now knows only happiness and the peace of Heaven. The video below features the current president of the Mormons (before he was the president) talking about the death of a childhood friend and what he shared with the friend’s mother about eternal life many years ago.

The young couple eventually went to pioneer in the high desert country near Vernal, Utah, a place where the only thing green was the town’s name and the name of the Green River flowing nearby. The land was so remote that it became notorious as a location along the infamous “Outlaw Trail,” where various wild west outlaws could roam and hide freely during the late 1800s. Despite of, or perhaps because of, the heat and the cold, the dryness and the rough company, William Tapscott Gillman grew to be a strong, faithful Mormon man, and a successful farmer. He married Catherine McKowen in 1887 in Vernal, Utah. Together they raised ten healthy children, all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Catherine McKowen’s father, Philip, married her mother in Manchester, England. They, too, joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and travelled over sea and land to Vernal, bringing Philip’s Irish parents, Patrick and Mary Katherine, along. Patrick and Mary McKowen’s parents never saw their children again. Once, a distant relative of mine dreamed about Patrick’s father, watching the cold sea as the ship carrying his family away disappeared into the distance. As faithful Catholics, Patrick’s parents were persecuted in Ireland for their beliefs, and the state was forbidden to record their births, deaths, and marriages. What little information remained about them was burned in a fire. Even their names and birthdates have been lost. But their legacy came to America with their children and grandchildren.

William Tapscott and Catherine McKowen Gillman are the parents of my grandmother, Nora Gillman Moore. My name is Nora, too. I have grown up in physical prosperity and spiritual wealth, the beneficiary of the sacrifices and faithfulness of those who came before me. Although they have passed away, I often feel surrounded by their faith and concern.

On March 18, 2012, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang the following revivalist hymn on its weekly broadcast, “Music and the Spoken Word.” The words and music brought the memory of my ancestors’ sacrifices back to me:

Then We’ll Sing Hosanna

I have some friends before me gone

Who love to sing hosanna,

And I’m resolved to travel on,

For I love to sing hosanna,

For we have but the one more river to cross,

And then we’ll sing hosanna,

For we have but the one more river to cross,

And then we’ll sing hosanna.

Mormon Beliefs About Death: Eternal Spirits, Eternal Families

Mormons believe that death is just one more event along the way of our eternal lives. Every human being possesses an immortal spirit, which lived with God before being born here on earth. When we die, we retain our individuality, our loves, our skills, and our faith. Amulek, an ancient prophet who lived in the Americas prior to the time of Christ, taught that “that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world” ( Alma 34:34). Amulek’s teachings are recorded in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, the religious history of his people.

The Prophet and Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints possesses the ancient “sealing” power given to Peter by the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 18:18. This power, restored to the founding prophet of Mormonism, Joseph Smith, in a visit from the ancient prophet Elijah to the Mormon temple in Kirtland, Ohio in the 1830s, allows those with proper priesthood authority to bind families together for eternity in ordinances performed in Mormon temples. My grandmother’s parents were sealed in the temple to each other and to their children, as were my grandparents and my parents. I have been sealed in the temple to my husband and children. The sealing power that has made its way through the generations to me gives my ancestors the right and responsibility to watch over me forever. Along with others of my progenitors who sacrificed their wealth, land, and health for the gospel of Jesus Christ, they form an army of faithful men and women, strengthening me. My children, in their turn, are beginning to form an army of my descendants, whom I am responsible watch over and teach, hoping that the gospel of Jesus Christ will make all the difference in their lives, as it has in mine:

One army of the living God,

We love to sing hosanna,

Part of the host have crossed the flood

Who love to sing hosanna.

For we have but the one more river to cross,

And then we’ll sing hosanna,

For we have but the one more river to cross,

And then we’ll sing hosanna.

I sing with a choir every Sunday morning; I have always loved to sing. Singing, for me, is my truest way to worship God, and to testify of Him. Sometimes, when we sing the old Mormon pioneer hymn, “Come, Come Ye Saints,” I think I can hear an Irish or English brogue, singing the words alongside me. I imagine it is Alice Wickham, or one of the Katie McKowens, singing along. I sense that they, along with my Grandma Nora, are aware of me in my joys and trials of life. Someday I, too, will “cross the river,” and meet them in the world of spirits. There we will continue together to fight for God and for right, as we have spent our lives doing here. I look forward to seeing them there.

Amen, amen, my soul replies,

I love to sing hosanna,

I’m bound to meet you in the skies

Where we will sing hosanna.

Hosanna, hosanna,

And then we’ll sing hosanna,

For we have but the one more river to cross,

And then we’ll sing hosanna.

My wife and I have also been blessed with miracles in our marriage. Our pleas for help have been answered in the form of unexpected monetary gifts, unsolicited job offers, as well as impressions that have led us to do something that was needed, but not solicited, for one another. We attribute these miracles to the covenant relationship that we have with God. As our benevolent Heavenly Father, we believe that God is involved with the details of our lives. His omniscience and omnipotence enable Him to bless us with extraordinary events that we are not able to experience otherwise. It’s like having God as a contributing partner in our marital relationship.

A few days ago, I woke up to the beautiful silhouette of my wife lying beside me. I was filled with so much gratitude for her and for the blessing that we can spend eternity together. Eternity sounds like a long time, but when you’re spending it with someone who you love completely, you’ll be grateful that you can spend eternity with him or her.