Episcopalian Convention Embarks on Interfaith Project

From 25 June through 3 July 2015, more than 10,000 members of the Episcopal faith met in Salt Lake City, Utah, for their 78th General Convention. This was the first time that the Convention has been held in the state of Utah.

As part of the event, Episcopalians always take advantage of the opportunity to serve the communities they visit, and this year was no exception. They joined with Mormons at Welfare Square in Salt Lake City for an interfaith project. The spouses of Episcopalian leaders helped to package cheese, process salsa, and slice and bag wheat bread.

Rebecca Thompson of New Orleans, Louisiana commented, “I think we’ve done a good job. This is an amazingly clean, fresh environment with kindness and hospitality.” Another volunteer, Mary Ellen Baxter of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania remarked, “Anytime we can help people who are in need, that’s a good thing.”

Interfaith Project Gives Way to Better Understanding of Mormon Faith

Amy O’Donnell, wife of the Rt. Rev. Scott B. Hayashi of the Salt Lake Episcopal Church, stated, “The experience at Welfare Square has been a real eye-opener for them. They’ve learned more about the Mormon Church by visiting Temple Square and the Family History Library.” She further stated that several members of the Episcopalian Church even spent time at the Family History Library searching for their own ancestors.

On Tuesday, 30 June 2015, Welfare Services of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made a food donation valued at approximately $20,000 of cheese, salsa, wheat bread, and other items such as peanut butter and jam to Hildegarde’s Pantry, a Salt Lake City food bank. The food bank, which serves around 300 people in need each day, is operated by the Cathedral Church of St. Mark, the local Episcopal Diocese. Lydia Herrera, Pantry manager, commented, “When I come here [Hildegarde’s Pantry], I always try to see if I can make a difference every day with the people. We are doing God’s work together with other faiths to get something done.”

Other interesting factoids about the island nation of Kiribati include being a member of the Commonwealth of Nations, the IMF and the World Bank. Kiribati also became a full member of the United Nations in 1999, is the only country in the world that lies within all four hemispheres, and it has one of the highest percentages of Latter-day Saints in the world (between 16%-17%).

An Endangered Nation and the Issue of Malnutrition

Although Kiribati may be considered one of the most beautiful and remote nations in the world, it is also one of the most vulnerable in relation to climate change. Due to rising sea levels, the nation has lost its land, resulting in a major episode of malnutrition, especially among Latter-day Saint children.

Latter-day Saints have had a presence in Kiribati since the early 1970s when a local elementary school teacher and headmaster, Waitea Abiata, sent a dozen of his students to Tonga to study at the LDS Liahona High School. While attending school in Tonga, all of the students became members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and upon returning home, they shared the message of the gospel with family, friends, and neighbors. One of the first converts was their teacher who later became the first Branch President in Kiribati in 1975. Since then, the Church has consistently grown in membership, and today there are approximately 17,000 members, most of whom reside in Tarawa and nearby islands.

At the invitation of the Pacific Area Presidency, a team from the Liahona Children’s Foundation consisting of Sara Walker (an international public health & nutrition specialist), Robert Rees (Vice-President of the Foundation), and three Latter-day Saint sisters from Australia (Carol Armstrong and Liz and Courtney Pocock of the Island Rescue Project), visited Tarawa, Kiribati between Christmas 2013 and New Year 2014. Their assignment was to determine the level and extent of malnutrition among the Latter-day Saints. Assisted by local members of the Church, senior missionaries, and Brother Iotua, former head of the Church-run Moroni School in Tarawa, former Stake President, and current Church’s Kiribati Service Center Manager, they screened children and pregnant and lactating mothers in the Tarawa East and Tarawa West Stakes.

The team conducted four screenings in the Tarawa West Stake on 30 December 2013 and five screenings in the Tarawa East Stake on 31 December 2013. A total of 550 children and 25 pregnant and lactating mothers (which includes 100 nonmembers) were screened. Of the children screened, about one-fifth (20.4%) were identified as being malnourished. Of the mothers that were screened, 8% were identified as being malnourished.

Based on growth charts established by the World Health Organization (WHO), the Foundation was able to adequately assess malnourishment using gender, age, and weight as the criteria for the data on the children which they collected. The charts are standardized for children under five worldwide. According to a 23 March 2015 LDS Mag.com article by Robert A. Rees:

The WHO growth charts also help screeners identify the type of malnutrition: wasting (low weight for height), stunting (low height for age), and underweight (low weight for age). According to the WHO, “Stunting develops as a result of sustained poor dietary intake or repeated infections or a combination of both”; “wasting develops as a result of recent rapid weight loss or a failure to gain weight”; and underweight is “a low weight-for-age.” Of the 20% of children who qualified as malnourished, 5.5% were identified as wasted, 13% as stunted, and 8.7% as underweight.

Conditions on Kiribati predict that malnutrition would be a serious problem. Kiribati is one of the poorest and least-developed countries in the world. It has few natural resources, limited local food sources (except for fish), very limited water resources (mostly from rainwater) and very high unemployment (over 60%). The infant mortality rate is 54/1000, compared with 6/1000 for the U.S. Life expectancy is nearly twenty years below that of U.S. citizens. Bacterial infections and food poisoning are common, as are skin diseases; diabetes on Kiribati and the Marshall Islands is the highest in the world; and the “prevalence of age-adjusted tobacco use is the highest in the world.

By all accounts, Kiribati is in need of dire help. If it were not for the assistance of humanitarian organizations such as the Liahona Children’s Foundation, the Island Rescue Project, the United Nations and the European Union, as well as assistance from neighboring countries to include Australia, New Zealand, China and Taiwan, the situation would be even worse.

It is not possible for the Liahona Children’s Foundation to address all of the problems, but they can focus on the main problem – malnutrition among Latter-day Saint children. Within the coming months, the Foundation will work in concert with the Pacific Area Welfare Manager and local leaders to develop a program in Kiribati which will help to accomplish two main objectives: 1) improve the nutritional status of both children under five and pregnant and lactating women; and 2) encourage self-reliance by teaching good hygiene, breastfeeding behavior, and enhanced nutritional practices.

Defining the Terms

When we hear the words “perfect,” “perfectionist,” or “perfectionism” what thoughts come to mind? The philosophical definition of perfectionism is “a doctrine holding that religious, moral, social, or political perfection is attainable, especially the theory that human moral or spiritual perfection should be or has been attained.” The Apostle Paul addressed the subject of being perfect in his treatise to the saints of the church at Philippi. In Philippians 3:12-16 Paul exhorts:

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.

What Paul is telling the saints is that he is not perfect, but he lives his life in such a manner as to daily strive to become perfect or more Christ-like. He further explains that he has left behind those things in his life which he once thought would gain him favor with God, and instead continues to look ahead and set the attaining of a Christ-like life (a perfect life) as his spiritual and moral target.

High Expectations and Striving for Perfection

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are taught to have high expectations and to strive for perfection, a task which frequently leaves members finding themselves falling short of the mark. This often leads to feelings of discouragement, dissatisfaction, anxiety, and stress. However, Professors G. E. Kawika Allen from the McKay School of Education at Brigham Young University, and Kenneth T. Wang at the Fuller Theological Seminary, argue that perfectionism, or striving for high standards, is not the problem.

In a recent study published by the American Psychological Association in Psychology of Religion and Spirituality which focused specifically on Latter-day Saints, they surveyed approximately 267 active members of The Church of Jesus Christ in Utah which consisted mostly of young adults in their mid-20’s, and asked questions ranging from their satisfaction with life to inward and outward commitment to their faith. From their study they were able to categorize the responses into three main groups:

The first group, 22% of people surveyed, were not perfectionists, that is, they don’t believe they hold themselves to high personal standards. The rest were considered perfectionists, but had an interesting split among them – a new type of perfectionism. Of the perfectionist group, 30% were classified as what Allen and Wang labeled maladaptive perfectionism, while 47% were classified as adaptive.

Allen admits that the populace surveyed for the test was perhaps the most appropriate as it is at that crossroads in a person’s life when they feel the most pressure to live up to the high standards of perfectionism as they contemplate going on a mission, getting married, and pursuing a higher education.

The study indicated that over half of the 267 LDS members surveyed could be classified as adaptive perfectionists which can be described as follows:

Adaptive perfectionists are likely to feel acceptance of themselves and their efforts, even when they fail or fall short of the high personal standards they have set for themselves. They are also more inwardly and outwardly committed to their LDS faith, which supports previous peer-reviewed findings that religious commitment plays a role in achieving better psychological health. That means adaptive perfectionism is actually healthy.

Taking this into consideration, the Apostle Paul would be classified as an adaptive perfectionist.

By contrast, however, members who were classified as maladaptive tend to feel less satisfied with their lives, and often experience depression and anxiety. They also tend to have a deeper fear of being punished by God for their sinful behavior. The study renders the following explanation about maladaptive perfectionists:

Maladaptive perfectionists are those folks who have high standards and high expectations for themselves, but when they are unable to meet those expectations, whether it’s school, family, or personal expectations, they struggle a little more with feelings of failure, feelings of not being good enough, disappointment, discouragement, and they feel down about themselves because they’re not able to meet those high standards.

Allen further commented that “adaptive perfectionists are more resilient to discouragement and create a ‘buffer’ for themselves if they fail —allowing themselves a chance to simply try again and again and again and do their best. He relates this to the repentance process.

How Members Can Achieve a Healthier Perfectionist Behavior

Allen offers three basic suggestions for helping members to become adaptive perfectionist versus maladaptive perfectionists. He states that the first step is for a member to figure out the type of perfectionist that he or she is. For those who struggle with maladaptive perfectionism, Allen states that, “Knowing that they have this negative tendency is half the battle. Then they can begin practicing more patience with themselves and studying the Atonement – both key steps to becoming an adaptive perfectionist.” He also states that it can be encouraging for adaptive perfectionists “because it reinforces the ‘Okay, I can be perfectionist in an adaptive way, and I can feel good about myself when I’m not able to meet those expectations.”

The second step in the process is to not allow fear to rule how the gospel is lived. Allen states,

Oftentimes we find ourselves doing things out of fear and anxiety rather than wanting to do it out of the love and out of faith—our own faith. When we’re driven by fear and anxiety, that’s when we need to take another look at the meaning of the Atonement and grace and our testimony of the living Christ.

He further emphasizes that adaptive perfectionists are motivated by love for the Savior more than they are by fear of repentance or punishment.

The third step is to apply the atonement in daily living and remember the unconditional love that God has for each of us. Allen commented:

As we let go of fear, we also need to strive to understand the Atonement and God’s love. When we understand that the Atonement allows us to strive for perfection simply by doing our very best and we remember that we are already imperfect, it helps us pick up the pieces and start again when we make a mistake.

Each of Us Strive for Perfection

None of us are perfect. “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one” (Romans 3:10). “For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not” (Ecclesiastes 7:20). The psalmist also declared, “The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. The Lord looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God. They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Psalm 14:1-3).

The only One who is perfect is Christ Himself. He is our Exemplar. As mortals, being perfect is an impossibility, but yet we should continue to strive towards becoming perfect. If we would keep that as our perspective and goal in life, we will be able to become adaptive perfectionists, continuously working to improve ourselves. Allen concludes with this counsel:

The next time you find yourself feeling like a failure, and that achieving perfection is impossible, take a step back, pick yourself up, and remember that the beauty of the Atonement is our ability to frequently fail, but always be able to move forward, a little better than we were before.

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The word “stranger” is basically defined as a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar. The word “stranger” comes from the Latin word extraneus, which means “exterior” or “from the outside.” Therefore, generally speaking, a stranger is someone who may be considered an outsider because of religion, culture, race, or whatever the reason.

If we look around the room this morning we may find at least one or two people who are strangers to us. Each of us, have been strangers ourselves on different occasions.

For example, for 20 years of my life I served on active duty in the United States Navy. During those 20 years, I was blessed with opportunities to travel all over the world on different assignments. I was even blessed to live in a few different countries for a time. In each of those situations, I was considered the stranger or the outsider. However, one of the amazing things that I discovered was that once I made the effort to show that I was friendly and genuinely interested in learning a little about the people living in those countries, I no longer felt like a stranger. In fact, I began to make friends with different people, and even though neither of us could speak the language of the other perfectly, we were still able to communicate with one another.

In the same way, as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, as we strive to live our lives according to His laws and His commandments, the world may consider us to be the strangers or the outsiders. But, the good news is that as members of the Church we have been given this promise, “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19). As members of the Church, we are not strangers or outsiders, but rather we become brothers and sisters. The Apostle Paul expounds on this in his teaching in Romans 8:16-18,

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

A promise was also made of old when God promised Abraham,

And I will bless them through thy name; for as many as receive this Gospel shall be called after thy name, and shall be accounted thy seed, and shall rise up and bless thee, as their father (Abraham 2:10).

As Bishop Gérald Caussé pointed out in his October 2013 General Conference address, “Though the membership of the Church is increasing in its diversity, our sacred heritage transcends our differences.”

I would also like to point out that although a person may be a member of the Church, it is still quite possible that he or she may at times feel that they really don’t belong, or that they are a stranger or an outsider. That is the reason it becomes the responsibility of each of us to heed the words of the Savior when He taught, “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34-35). And so, we must learn to take the focus off of ourselves, and learn to place that focus on serving others. We must be willing to “lift up the hands which hang down, and [steady] the feeble knees” (Hebrews 12:12).

Bishop Gérald Caussé also pointed out in his address,

Christ is our Great Exemplar in showing compassion and mercy to those who were considered to be strangers or outcasts in society. Throughout His earthly ministry none were excluded, all were equal recipients of His teachings and ministry. He healed the sick. He raised the dead. He cleansed the lepers. He sat and ate with publicans and tax collectors. He caused the deaf to hear, the dumb to speak, and the blind to see. And He even crossed cultural boundaries by asking a Samaritan woman at the well for a drink of water.

As His followers, we are asked to observe the law of perfect love. The Savior taught,

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:46-48).

If we are faithful and obedient to the Lord’s commands, and live His teachings, there should be no strangers or outcasts among us, only brotherhood and sisterhood. We who are considered strangers and outsiders to the world, should be the very ones who set the example before the world of what true brotherhood and sisterhood is all about. Our daily lives should be guided by the knowledge that,

[We] are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your alight so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:14-16).

I mentioned that at times we will all find ourselves in situations where we will be considered the stranger or the outsider, but this is something that we can work together to avoid happening in the Church. When someone new comes to join us here in the sanctuary or in one of our classes, we should make every effort to make them feel comfortable, welcome, and a part of our Ward family. We must make the effort to be the first ones to offer the outstretched hand of friendship. A person may not be known by name at first, but yet, they are known to us as brother and sister.

Let us resolve from this day forward to have no more strangers among us. In the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Amen.

It is interesting to note that the United Kingdom has no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the United States have strict laws governing the bullying of others. Normally when the subject is discussed its reference is to incidents that occur among students in schools. Unfortunately, the school campus is not the only place where bullying occurs. It may also occur among youth in the Church.

Made to Feel as an Outcast among Peers

Bullying, which can be classified into four different types – verbal, social, physical, and cyber – is a serious problem, especially among youth. It can range from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the primary bully may have another person or persons to assist in his or her bullying activities.

According to the stopbullying.gov website, in order for behavior to be considered bullying it must be aggressive and include:

• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others.

• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

The “targets” or “victims” of bullying are often made to feel inferior to their peers. They are often the recipients of unwarranted threats (including cyber threats), the subject of malicious rumors, the objects of physical or verbal abuse (to include inappropriate sexual comments), and deliberately excluded from certain groups.

When a Supposed Safe Haven No Longer Feels Safe

Most people think of church as a safe place where children can be protected from the wiles of the world. In the minds of most people, church is the last place where they would expect anyone to be the victim of bullying, but yet it does happen.

In an LDS Living Magazine article dated 28 August 2014 titled “The Sad Truth about Bullying at Church,” Kelsey Berteaux recounts the episode of a young teenage girl who was contemplating suicide by jumping off the roof of her home because she was being bullied by the youth in her ward. In the article, Judy Wells, the mother of the young teenage girl, recalls the events that led up to her daughter wanting to commit suicide, “The girls took her journal and read it when she left it on her chair to go to the library to get a Book of Mormon. Then, when she came in, they were quoting it.” She further stated that this was only one of a hundred things those young men and young women did. She continued,

When she [her daughter] went and sat down next to some girls, the girls would get up and create a new row and leave her sitting all alone. They invented fake physical relationships she could have had with boys and teased her about them, leaving notes about it on classroom whiteboards for others to find. They even harassed her outside of church, calling her to borrow equipment for a party she wasn’t invited to, and later, calling again to say how glad they were that she wasn’t at the gathering with them.

Fortunately, Wells was able to talk her daughter down from the roof, but she found herself at a loss as to what the next steps should be in trying to help her distraught daughter.

Children and the Damaging Effects of Bullying

Kids can bully others, be bullied themselves, or witness someone else being bullied. Often kids who are involved in a bullying situation play multiple roles – they may themselves be the targets of bullying by others, or they may witness other innocent kids being bullied.

According to the stopbullying.gov website:

The roles kids play in bullying are not limited to those who bully others and those who are bullied. Some researchers talk about the “circle of bullying” to define both those directly involved in bullying and those who actively or passively assist the behavior or defend against it.

Even if a child is not directly involved in bullying, they may be contributing to the behavior. Witnessing the behavior may also affect the child, so it is important for them to learn what they should do when they see bullying happen.

Most kids play more than one role in bullying over time. In some cases, they may be directly involved in bullying as the one bullying others or being bullied and in others they may witness bullying and play an assisting or defending role. Every situation is different. Some kids are both bullied and bully others. It is important to note the multiple roles kids play, because…

• Those who are both bullied and bully others may be at more risk for negative outcomes, such as depression or suicidal ideation.
• It highlights the need to engage all kids in prevention efforts, not just those who are known to be directly involved

Addressing the Issue of Bullying in the Church

Wells eventually had her daughter attend a different ward in a different stake in an effort to keep her away from the youth who were bullying her. Unfortunately, every parent who has a son or daughter who is the victim of bullying at Church is not able to attend a different ward or stake.

The LDS Living.com article lists some ways that experts suggest can be used to recognize, prevent, and correct bullying in a church environment:

Clark Burbidge, author of the youth help series Giants in the Land, commented that “due to the more positive, value-based, and supportive overall environment of a church setting, bullying can play out in more subtle ways. We can see it in exclusive or cliquish behavior. These can also include hurtful or devaluing statements.”

The article also suggests that another form of bullying in the Church is often found in pranks that are played on unsuspecting youth during various youth activities. Judy Wells, now an advocate against bullying, made the following observation:

They’ve got to have fun out there, right? There has to be some sort of an outlet. Locking a girl in a latrine at girl’s camp, that’s okay. It’s kind of funny. She’s stuck in a smelly latrine and can’t get out until somebody comes and lets her out. But, she says, “It’s not funny.” How someone experiences a “harmless” prank can emotionally affect them for the rest of their life.

Burbidge further suggests that the process of deterring bullying behavior begins in the home. Parents have an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, and bullying other children should be at the forefront of those things that are taught as being wrong behavior. He suggests that bullying behavior can be cut off at the pass if families are doing their part to create a loving, faith-filled, family environment in the home.

Licensed family therapist, Dr. Jonathan Swinton, recommends that on the ward level, bullying can be deterred by “celebrating diversity and differences, not being judgmental, and feeling love for all of God’s children.” He further commented:

The more people appreciate the doctrines that God ‘hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on the face of the earth’ (Acts 17:26), and that he ‘denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … and all are alike unto God’ (2 Nephi 26:33), the behavior will more easily follow.

Just teaching kids to be nice will not be sufficient if they don’t really view everyone as their brothers and sisters. If they really do understand that it is their brother or sister they are doing this to, they can better show love for anyone that is different.

Wells further contends that Bishops and other Church leaders need to become actively engaged in resolving bullying issues that may occur in their wards or branches. She states that leaders should immediately alert parents of any child who is involved in a bullying situation so that they are aware of their child’s behavior towards others during church activities.

Burbidge further commented that leaders should respond to these types of situations “in a way that both supports and protects the person targeted, as well as responds in a loving but correcting way to the person responsible for the bullying. This can include counseling with both parties and their parents to provide the positive reinforcement and guidance so that alternative behaviors may be developed and replace the destructive ones.”

Every member can have an active role in ensuring that this type of behavior does not occur in his or her ward or branch by practicing charity – the pure love of Christ – towards their brothers and sisters. Every effort should be made to make everyone feel comfortable, welcome, and a part of the Church family. Each member should make the effort to be the first to offer the outstretched hand of friendship. A person may be appear different because of race, culture, or language, and they may not be known by name, but yet, they are known to us as brother and sister. When these practices are put in place, there will be no more strangers in Zion, and such adverse behaviors as bullying will cease to exist.

How Religious Communities Can Help Perfect the Saints

Jana Riess in her Religion News Service (RNS) article dated 18 July 2014 points out that Riley cites three important key elements that the most successful religious communities incorporate in order to help retain their number of 20-somethings:

• They provide stability during a period of transience. .
• They give them important things to do to make the religious community work.
• They help them form spiritual habits to last a lifetime.

An entire chapter in Riley’s book is devoted to discussing how Mormon singles wards are providing crucial help in all three of these areas. The following guidelines as set forth in section 16 of Handbook 2: Administering the Church (instructions for leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) which is titled “Single Members” supports what she says in the chapter:

Men and women who have not married or who are divorced or widowed make up a significant portion of Church membership. Priesthood and auxiliary leaders reach out to these members and include them in the work of the Church. Worthy single members should be given opportunities to hold leadership and teaching positions, including positions in Elders Quorum presidencies, High Priests Group leaderships, and auxiliary presidencies.

Leaders support single members by helping them draw near to the Lord, strengthen their testimonies, and take responsibility for their own spiritual, social, and temporal well-being.

In ministering to single members, leaders seek to strengthen family life, not compete with it or detract from it. They teach and testify of the importance of marriage and parenthood. Even when young single adults are not living with their parents, Church leaders encourage them to honor and nourish their relationships with their parents. Leaders also support single parents in their efforts to teach and nurture their children.

Important Questions That Warrant an Answer

In a follow-up conversation with author Naomi Schaefer Riley, Riess was able to ask some pointed questions regarding the mass exodus that religious institutions of many faiths are currently experiencing. She specifically focused on the chapter in Riley’s book about Mormon singles wards and asked questions about Mormon dating and marriage, leadership opportunities, and the pros and cons of the singles ward system. What follows are a few of those questions and answers.

Question: How has the overall trend toward later marriage affected Mormons in their 20s and 30s?

It looks like the Mormon age of marriage is starting to creep up as well.

During the 1990s, the General Social Survey found an average age of Mormon first marriage of 21.6. In a survey I conducted in 2010 for my book on interfaith marriage, it was up to 23.

This age may not seem high yet, but if the Mormon population follows the trend of the rest of the American population (albeit at a slower pace), it could have a significant effect on rates of religious observance and retention across generational lines. In that survey I found also found the later the age of marriage the more likely people were to marry someone of a different religion.

Question: You make the point that religions that don’t provide leadership opportunities to young adults are doomed. The success stories are religious traditions that are enlisting 20-somethings into service. How does Mormonism fit into that?

As we are living longer, healthier lives, some church members start to get a little territorial, staying in the same volunteer position for years or even decades. Young adults who show up often feel as if their presence is superfluous.

This is one of the things that really impressed me about Young Single Adult wards. The LDS church was willing to say to 20-somethings, “Even though your parents may treat you like children because you’re not married, not done with school, don’t have full-time employment, etc., we, the church, are going to treat you like grownups — putting you in charge of collecting tithes, religious education and a variety of other important functions.”

The church came to what I think is the correct conclusion — if you treat 20-somethings like adults, they will act like adults.

Question: You talk about the poignant transition when YSAs age out, Logan’s Run style, after age 30. What are the pros and cons of such a system?

I think the pros are that these young people are able to take more responsibility and that the services and messages of religious leaders can be more closely tailored to their needs.

I think the cons are that the ward itself has a very transitional feel. People are constantly moving in and out. Whether they age out or get married, it can feel very impermanent. Which is how a lot of 20-somethings feel already. Every time you force a young adult to make a transition, you risk losing him or her and so adding another step to this process can be risky.

Riley also praised the multi-generational experience that Young Single Adults (YSA) get in The Church of Jesus Christ. She notes that such an experience helps to keep them grounded and helps them to realize that the world does not revolve around them and their needs alone. She also notes that this has been a recurring problem with such Christian programs as Campus Crusade. She further commented, “I think the Mormon Church avoids some of the problems that could come with an YSA arrangement because many of the young people are still living close to large extended families. So they get the multi-generational experience outside of church.”

As members go forth to share the “Good News,” they find that a large part of having an effective ministry involves providing humanitarian assistance to those who live under less fortunate circumstances. It is for this reason that the “Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them” (Moses 7:18). As members strive to emulate the life of the Savior, they begin to fully understand what it means to “lift up the hands which hang down, and [stable] the feeble knees” (Hebrews 12:12).

The Church of Jesus Christ and Humanitarian Aid

The Church of Jesus Christ is involved in many humanitarian efforts around the world to help those in need. The objective is to not only render assistance where needed, but to ultimately teach those who require the assistance how to become self-reliant. It is further hoped that once people learn how to help themselves, they will have a desire to pay it forward to help others in need, and teach them how to help themselves as well.

Such humanitarian organizations as LDS Charities, established by the Church in 1996, provide wheelchairs, clean water, emergency response, food production, vision care, neonatal resuscitation training, and immunizations to people in 179 countries of the world. Donations from Church members, as well as, others through partnerships with organizations around the world, provide the necessary funding for the projects. Largely run by volunteer labor, assistance is “rendered without regard to race, religious affiliation, or nationality and is based on the core principles of personal responsibility, community support, self-reliance, and sustainability.”

The Church of Jesus Christ also maintains the Latter-day Saint Humanitarian Center which was established in 1991 in Salt Lake City, Utah to “prepare humanitarian supplies for use worldwide and train those desiring to develop employable skills to become self-reliant.”

The Liahona Children’s Foundation – Nurturing the Potential of the Children

King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon in his timely discourse asked the pointed question,

For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind? (Mosiah 4:19).

He continues in verse 21 by saying,

And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.

King Benjamin also taught the people that “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). And so Latter-day Saints throughout the world do so willingly, knowing that their labors are not in vain and that as they serve their fellowman, they are in the service of God. Individual Latter-day Saints are an active part of the Liahona Children’s Foundation whose mission is “to nurture the potential of children to lead healthy and productive lives by eliminating malnutrition and providing educational opportunities among LDS children and their friends.” The Foundation began its operation in eight stakes in Ecuador and Guatemala in 2008. This summer the Foundation will be screening children in new areas of the world to include the Philippines (multiple areas), Cali Colombia, Paraguay, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Guatemala.

One of the major problems that the Liahona Children Foundation faces as it renders humanitarian service around the world is the large number of cases of malnutrition among the children. According to UNICEF,

Over one quarter of the children in resource-poor countries are malnourished, over 100 million under the age of five are under weight, and 165 million are stunted in height. Many malnourished children suffer lifelong cognitive and physical defects that significantly reduce their earning potential as adults, invariably leaving them in poverty and reducing their capacity to fully contribute to society. These effects in turn contribute to a cycle in which their poverty leads to their own children and grandchildren being malnourished.

Largely due to the success of the Church’s missionary efforts to take the gospel to the remote parts of the earth, it is not surprising that a number of malnourished children are found among Latter-day Saint communities in many countries worldwide. This is an ongoing issue that the federally recognized 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization (which is independent from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) has striven to address for the past six years. Although the Foundation is not directly affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ, it is administered by faithful Latter-day Saints and funded by contributions from Latter-day Saints in the United States and other parts of the world. Based on their experience over the past six years, it is estimated that at present, there are at least 120,000 malnourished LDS children in the world. The Church of Jesus Christ has over 15 million members worldwide.

According to the article in the Wednesday, 9 July 2014 of the online edition of Meridian Magazine by Robert A. Rees, Ph.D.:

The inspiration for establishing the Liahona Children’s Foundation came when Dr. Bradley Walker, the Foundation’s co-founder and current president, saw the emaciated body of a young Latter-day Saint child in Ecuador. The child, who was under the care of an LDS physician (and former stake president) in the ICU unit of a pediatric hospital in Guayaquil, had been fed platano (banana) water because his parents were too poor to afford milk. Dr. Walker made a commitment to do whatever he could to end malnutrition among Latter-day Saint children.

Liahona volunteers include students from BYU and Utah Valley University. Since its inception in 2008, the Liahona Children’s Foundation has conducted scores of screenings of LDS, as well as non-LDS children, and provided nutrition supplements for the malnourished in the countries of Guatemala, Ecuador, Peru, South Africa, Cambodia and the Philippines. It is projected that the program will expand into other areas of the world such as Asia, Africa, Central and South America, the South Pacific, and Haiti where the levels of malnutrition are significantly high.

According to a recent report by UNICEF,

There is better understanding of the crucial importance of nutrition during the critical 1,000-day period covering pregnancy and the first two years of a child’s life, and of the fact that stunting reflects deficiencies during this period. The damage that stunting causes to a child’s development is irreversible. Under nutrition early in life has major consequences for future educational, income and productivity outcomes.

The Meridian Magazine article further emphasized that without help “a malnourished child is less likely to succeed in school, graduate from high school or technical school, go on a mission, become employable, make a good marriage decision, and become a leader in the church or community.” And so, organizations like the Liahona Children’s Foundation are doing their part to combat the problem of malnourishment among LDS children throughout the world. All the while being reminded of the admonition of the Savior Himself when he taught, “Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me” (Matthew 25:45).

I am a proud advocate of the new responsibilities that the sister missionaries have been given. From what I understand, there were roadblocks that hindered sisters from doing their jobs properly. For instance, from Walsh’s article, Elder Austin Fuller “recalls feeling frustration about the responsibility he had for sister missionaries when he had fewer tools to help them. Elders and sisters can’t go on exchanges, for example, and elders are not allowed to counsel sisters.” Now that has all changed. The sisters have become more effective as missionaries. This has caused a change for good in the efforts of missionary work.

I believe that the reason for the changes is that women are a strong force within the Church, and President Thomas S. Monson, thePresident and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often called the “Mormon” Church by the media and others), and his Apostles have felt and were given divine revelation to implement these changes for sisters and wives of mission presidents. Giving sisters more responsibility and more roles to use together with their fellow missionaries, whether they are elders or sisters, will make the process of spreading the gospel easier.

This article was written by Melissa Muse

The Church of Jesus Christ in Hong Kong, China

In Hong Kong, Church meetings are held every day of the week in order to accommodate the domestic helpers who only get one day a week off, and that day may vary from week to week.

Melissa Inouye of the University of Hong Kong stated that there is a missionary couple specifically called to conduct daily church meetings for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for whoever comes. Inouye also made mention of the fact that the missionary couple’s Preparation Day (P-day) is actually on Sunday.

Bridging the Differences between Schedules and Cultures

On 27 March 2014, in Berkeley, California, in her presentation at the Global Crossroads: Mormonism and Asia in the Twenty-First Century Conference, Staci Ford, also of the University of Hong Kong, discussed the “Gathering and Grafting in the Hong Kong International District” in greater detail.

In introducing the voice of a domestic helper by the name of Marissa Carino Estipona, Ford commented, “With over 1,000 domestic helpers, our district is the most gender imbalanced of its type in the church. We are a predominantly matriarchal society at church.” Estipona recalled being asked by a woman in Church if the long hours that she worked as a domestic helper away from her family in order to support and sustain them was worth it, and replying that everything was worth it for the sake of her family.

During her presentation Ford also quoted Benjamin Tai, the International Hong Kong District Leader, as saying,

In my view, the purpose of church boundaries is not to cause grief, heartache and headache for members of those in leadership callings. I am just very glad that anyone is willing to come and spend three-plus hours of his or her day off with us. My only desire is to make sure that for those that come, we are organized appropriately so that they can get the most out of their time and that spiritual growth is fostered.

The Church of Jesus Christ promotes doctrine on the family that states that marriage is meant to be eternal and is between a man and a woman. Any sexual relationships outside of a heterosexual marriage are considered sinful, but feeling attraction to someone of the same sex is not itself a sin.

This doctrine on marriage, family, and sexuality has led many to believe that Mormons are anti-gay and even discriminatory to gays and lesbians. The truth is that Mormons believe that all men and women are children of a loving Heavenly Father and that regardless of sexual orientation, we should treat those around us with love and kindness. Oyler makes it a priority to teach those church members he oversees about the importance of Christ-like love when it comes to interacting with the gay community and that no life choice is an excuse for ostracizing family members.[1]

Marriage and Family Are Central to God’s Plan for His Children

There’s no denying that for Mormons, the nature of the family is eternal and unchanging. In 1995, The Church of Jesus Christ published “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” a statement that affirms the definition of marriage–between a man and woman–as well as the importance of bearing children and the potential for eternal families. The beginning of the statement first asserts our identity as children of God:

All human beings–male and female–are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

Because of this unchanging doctrine, The Church of Jesus Christ opposes same-sex marriage; the Church does not, however, condone prejudice or discrimination against gays or lesbians. In fact, The Church of Jesus Christ supports gay rights that campaign for other legal rights and privileges.

When it comes to the possibility of legalizing same-sex marriage, The Church of Jesus Christ is also concerned about the affect such decisions will have on religious freedom. In a news release published in 2008, the Church stated, “Where same-sex marriage becomes a recognized civil right, it inevitably conflicts with the rights of believers, and religious freedom is diminished.”[2]

In the same statement, the Church emphasized,

As Church members strive to protect marriage between a man and a woman, they should show respect, civility, and kindness toward others who have different points of view. . . . Church members are to treat all people with love and humanity. They may express genuine love and kindness toward a gay or lesbian family member, friend, or other person without condoning any redefinition of marriage.

Because the family is so central to Mormon doctrine, Oyler instructed that “the family unit is the most important thing, and under no circumstances should [Mormons] find themselves ostracizing or disrespecting members of their family.” Oyler continued on to say that if Mormons would cultivate more open expression of their unconditional love toward gay family members that the struggles many gays face–like depression and suicidal tendencies–would greatly diminish.

Because family is so central to God’s plan for His children, Christ-like love is just as central. It must be difficult for parents to witness a child making decisions that are not in line with what they taught or agree with, but the crux of Mormon doctrine is rooted in love. That love shouldn’t alter based on another’s decisions.

No One But God Is Qualified to Judge

At the heart of this sensitive issue, we must all remember that only God is qualified to judge His children. Yes, Mormons will continue to support heterosexual marriage, and Mormon doctrine will continue to emphasize that none of us is qualified to judge another.

In the New Testament, Christ issues two commandments:

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Matthew 22:37-40)

Yes, according to the gospel of Jesus Christ, homosexual relationships are sinful, yet even with that knowledge, we are in no position to assign blame or guilt to any of our fellow brothers and sisters. We do ourselves harm whenever our efforts to campaign morally or politically conflict with our duty to express Christ-like love. Oyler emphasizes the second great commandment to his fellow church members and tries to remind them of their responsibilities to be like Christ.

The Church of Jesus Christ heads up a website aimed at fostering discussion on same-sex relationships and marriage, MormonsAndGays.org. The site seeks to cultivate understanding on all sides of this emotionally charged issue; content includes interviews of gay Church members and also words from general leaders about the importance of treating all children of God with love and kindness.

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Fostering Understanding and Genuine Love

Mormons are currently in a position where they could accomplish much good through love and understanding. Oyler understands this and has spent time and energy teaching the Mormons in His region about the crucial importance of unconditional and Christ-like love. The family is the most important social structure we have, and Oyler rightfully explained that while it is important to express what we believe, we should never let that damage our own relationships with family members. Gays and lesbians who choose to be a part of The Church of Jesus Christ need love and acceptance rather than discrimination.

Oyler’s efforts to soften Mormons’ approach to gay struggles and especially the way Mormons may deal with gay family members will have not only an important impact on his local community, but also on the greater Mormon community nationwide.