It is interesting to note that the United Kingdom has no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the United States have strict laws governing the bullying of others. Normally when the subject is discussed its reference is to incidents that occur among students in schools. Unfortunately, the school campus is not the only place where bullying occurs. It may also occur among youth in the Church.

Made to Feel as an Outcast among Peers

Bullying, which can be classified into four different types – verbal, social, physical, and cyber – is a serious problem, especially among youth. It can range from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the primary bully may have another person or persons to assist in his or her bullying activities.

According to the stopbullying.gov website, in order for behavior to be considered bullying it must be aggressive and include:

• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others.

• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

The “targets” or “victims” of bullying are often made to feel inferior to their peers. They are often the recipients of unwarranted threats (including cyber threats), the subject of malicious rumors, the objects of physical or verbal abuse (to include inappropriate sexual comments), and deliberately excluded from certain groups.

When a Supposed Safe Haven No Longer Feels Safe

Most people think of church as a safe place where children can be protected from the wiles of the world. In the minds of most people, church is the last place where they would expect anyone to be the victim of bullying, but yet it does happen.

In an LDS Living Magazine article dated 28 August 2014 titled “The Sad Truth about Bullying at Church,” Kelsey Berteaux recounts the episode of a young teenage girl who was contemplating suicide by jumping off the roof of her home because she was being bullied by the youth in her ward. In the article, Judy Wells, the mother of the young teenage girl, recalls the events that led up to her daughter wanting to commit suicide, “The girls took her journal and read it when she left it on her chair to go to the library to get a Book of Mormon. Then, when she came in, they were quoting it.” She further stated that this was only one of a hundred things those young men and young women did. She continued,

When she [her daughter] went and sat down next to some girls, the girls would get up and create a new row and leave her sitting all alone. They invented fake physical relationships she could have had with boys and teased her about them, leaving notes about it on classroom whiteboards for others to find. They even harassed her outside of church, calling her to borrow equipment for a party she wasn’t invited to, and later, calling again to say how glad they were that she wasn’t at the gathering with them.

Fortunately, Wells was able to talk her daughter down from the roof, but she found herself at a loss as to what the next steps should be in trying to help her distraught daughter.

Children and the Damaging Effects of Bullying

Kids can bully others, be bullied themselves, or witness someone else being bullied. Often kids who are involved in a bullying situation play multiple roles – they may themselves be the targets of bullying by others, or they may witness other innocent kids being bullied.

According to the stopbullying.gov website:

The roles kids play in bullying are not limited to those who bully others and those who are bullied. Some researchers talk about the “circle of bullying” to define both those directly involved in bullying and those who actively or passively assist the behavior or defend against it.

Even if a child is not directly involved in bullying, they may be contributing to the behavior. Witnessing the behavior may also affect the child, so it is important for them to learn what they should do when they see bullying happen.

Most kids play more than one role in bullying over time. In some cases, they may be directly involved in bullying as the one bullying others or being bullied and in others they may witness bullying and play an assisting or defending role. Every situation is different. Some kids are both bullied and bully others. It is important to note the multiple roles kids play, because…

• Those who are both bullied and bully others may be at more risk for negative outcomes, such as depression or suicidal ideation.
• It highlights the need to engage all kids in prevention efforts, not just those who are known to be directly involved

Addressing the Issue of Bullying in the Church

Wells eventually had her daughter attend a different ward in a different stake in an effort to keep her away from the youth who were bullying her. Unfortunately, every parent who has a son or daughter who is the victim of bullying at Church is not able to attend a different ward or stake.

The LDS Living.com article lists some ways that experts suggest can be used to recognize, prevent, and correct bullying in a church environment:

Clark Burbidge, author of the youth help series Giants in the Land, commented that “due to the more positive, value-based, and supportive overall environment of a church setting, bullying can play out in more subtle ways. We can see it in exclusive or cliquish behavior. These can also include hurtful or devaluing statements.”

The article also suggests that another form of bullying in the Church is often found in pranks that are played on unsuspecting youth during various youth activities. Judy Wells, now an advocate against bullying, made the following observation:

They’ve got to have fun out there, right? There has to be some sort of an outlet. Locking a girl in a latrine at girl’s camp, that’s okay. It’s kind of funny. She’s stuck in a smelly latrine and can’t get out until somebody comes and lets her out. But, she says, “It’s not funny.” How someone experiences a “harmless” prank can emotionally affect them for the rest of their life.

Burbidge further suggests that the process of deterring bullying behavior begins in the home. Parents have an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, and bullying other children should be at the forefront of those things that are taught as being wrong behavior. He suggests that bullying behavior can be cut off at the pass if families are doing their part to create a loving, faith-filled, family environment in the home.

Licensed family therapist, Dr. Jonathan Swinton, recommends that on the ward level, bullying can be deterred by “celebrating diversity and differences, not being judgmental, and feeling love for all of God’s children.” He further commented:

The more people appreciate the doctrines that God ‘hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on the face of the earth’ (Acts 17:26), and that he ‘denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … and all are alike unto God’ (2 Nephi 26:33), the behavior will more easily follow.

Just teaching kids to be nice will not be sufficient if they don’t really view everyone as their brothers and sisters. If they really do understand that it is their brother or sister they are doing this to, they can better show love for anyone that is different.

Wells further contends that Bishops and other Church leaders need to become actively engaged in resolving bullying issues that may occur in their wards or branches. She states that leaders should immediately alert parents of any child who is involved in a bullying situation so that they are aware of their child’s behavior towards others during church activities.

Burbidge further commented that leaders should respond to these types of situations “in a way that both supports and protects the person targeted, as well as responds in a loving but correcting way to the person responsible for the bullying. This can include counseling with both parties and their parents to provide the positive reinforcement and guidance so that alternative behaviors may be developed and replace the destructive ones.”

Every member can have an active role in ensuring that this type of behavior does not occur in his or her ward or branch by practicing charity – the pure love of Christ – towards their brothers and sisters. Every effort should be made to make everyone feel comfortable, welcome, and a part of the Church family. Each member should make the effort to be the first to offer the outstretched hand of friendship. A person may be appear different because of race, culture, or language, and they may not be known by name, but yet, they are known to us as brother and sister. When these practices are put in place, there will be no more strangers in Zion, and such adverse behaviors as bullying will cease to exist.

In 2007, David Archuleta became famous for his appearance on American Idol, talent show for pop singers. He was one of the youngest finalists in the history of the show, just sixteen years old. Following his run on the program, he launched a solo career, with his first album debuting in the number two spot at Billboard.

It is uncommon for popular singers to put aside their work to take a two-year hiatus out of the public eye. It is, in fact, considered a risky decision to make. However David explained that no one had told him to do it; it was a choice he made for himself. He explained in his farewell video that he wanted to set aside this time to build his relationship with God, something he hadn’t taken enough time for in the past. He asked his fans to be respectful of his need to be out of the public eye for a while.

What will David Archuleta’s life be like now? He left home in March, 2012 for the Missionary Training Center. Here, since he will be serving in South America, it is likely he will begin learning to speak Spanish in an intensive immersion program. He will also receive the training needed to learn how to share his beliefs effectively with others.

While on his mission, David will be known as Elder Archuleta. Elder is a title referring to his level of priesthood, not his age or seniority. Mormons confer the priesthood on all worthy males who are twelve or older. There are several levels and Elder is the title given to most young men after they reach adulthood. However, it is not used as a formal title unless someone is serving a mission or has a high-level full-time church position.

As a missionary, David will receive no special treatment due to his celebrity. During this time, he is expected to put away all worldly interests and activities, so he will not be performing, making movies, answering fan mail, or participating in other career-based activities. Nor will he be dating, listening to popular music, going to movies or watching television. For two years, Mormon missionaries are expected to live a life of strict focus on God. It is a time to build their own religious testimony, learn to sacrifice and to put others first, to mature, and to grow. Mormon missionaries make sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ the sole focus of their lives. They develop self-discipline that carries into their future lives and helps them to be successful both professionally and personally. Their lives follow a strict schedule of sleep, meals, exercise, religious study, work, and service.

Because missionaries are assigned companions—another missionary of the same gender—and the two spend all their time together, they also learn to get along with others. These partnerships are changed regularly and missionaries must learn to have a good relationship with each companion, regardless of differences in culture and personality. This is excellent preparation for marriage and probably contributes to the unusually high success rate among Mormons.

Mormon missionaries live in the communities to which they are assigned and live as do those around him. David Archuleta’s life as a missionary may include living in primitive dwellings without running water should he find himself assigned to such an area. This helps them to develop compassion and understanding for those who are less fortunate, to release their dependence on material comforts, and to learn to sacrifice for God. He will be expected to eat whatever is served to him when he is a dinner guest. He will speak the language and learn the culture.

The need to interact daily with strangers and to discuss religion, which is considered a touchy subject, helps missionaries develop poise. Because they are taught to look for opportunities to serve, they become acutely aware of the needs of those around them and train themselves to see needs even when no one is asking for help. This builds empathy and trains them to a life of service and love for others. They experience the culture of their temporary country in a way no tourist can because they are right in the heart of the country, visiting homes, talking to the people, and sharing in the lifestyle.

This is what is ahead for David Archuleta. When he returns home in two years, fans are likely to see a matured young man who is more attuned with what is important in his life. It is an experience that will change him forever and most young men and women who serve missions remember it as a defining moment.

Men may serve missions beginning at age 19 for two years. Women may serve for eighteen months at age 21—most women complete college first. In addition, adults of any age can become part-time missionaries serving at home while continuing their normal careers or educations. Retired couples often serve missions as well, either full-time or part time. Older missionaries are not held to the same strict rules as the younger missionaries, since they have already achieved the maturity and self-discipline the rules teach.

Many famous Mormons who take time out for a mission value two years away from their fame and the public eye. They begin to remember what it was like to be an ordinary person and this helps to humble them. For many, it is a key to avoiding the types of problems many young celebrities face, because they return far more grounded and less interested in the parties and immorality that can plague a person who achieves fame at a young age.

David intends to resume his music career at the end of his two years in South America.

Mormons (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) have quite a few activities for youth. All activities sponsored by the Mormon Church are designed to provide youth with a fellowshipping base, or friends who are upholding the values of the Church.  Activities are also fashioned to encourage maturity and self-reliance, increase testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and teach skills while providing wholesome fun. All youth ages 12-18 belong to either of the Young Women or Young Men organizations. On Sundays during the three-hour block of meetings, youth meet for about an hour in their respective classes. There they are taught lessons about the scriptures and gospel. Within each of the organizations, there are three sub groups. For example, in the Young Women organization, 12- and 13-year-old young women meet in what is called the Beehive class, 14- and 15-year-old young women meet in the Mia Maid class, and 16- and 17-year-old young women meet in the Laurel class. Once young women are 18, they attend Relief Society with the adult women in the ward. Similarly, in the Young Men organization young men ages 12 and 13 attend the deacons’ quorum, ages 14 and 15 attend the teachers’ quorum, and ages 16 and 17 attend the priests’ quorum. Once a young man is 18, he is typically ordained to be an elder and will attend the elders quorum.

Once a week on a weekday evening, all the youth in the ward meet for about an hour or hour and a half for what is commonly called Mutual. Sometimes the girls and guys have separate activities, and sometimes they are combined. Mutual usually consists of an opening exercise (where everyone meets together at the beginning and has an opening song and prayer), a simple lesson, and an activity. Young Women often spend the activity time working on Personal Progress (see explanation of personal progress by clicking here) and young men often spend the activity time working on Scout merit badges or Duty to God. Examples of activities I have been a part of with the young women include learning how to crochet, tying quilts for newborn babies, going on a hike, learning how to cook, and playing board games. Examples of some activities that I have seen the young men do have been going on hikes, putting up American flags around the ward for holidays, and learning camping skills. About once a month the young men and young women usually have an activity together. Sometimes this activity is a service activity such as a canned food drive or making food for the local homeless shelter, and sometimes it is just something fun like going sledding or playing dodgeball.

Mormon youth also get together a lot to have dances. Depending on the particular ward or stake, some youth have dances a couple times a year and some have them almost every month. Usually these dances will include the youth from all the wards in the stake (commonly called stake dances) and sometimes even include multiple stakes. Usually, youth 14 and older can attend the dances. The dances are a lot of fun. There is usually a DJ playing upbeat, clean music, and appropriate dress standards are enforced at the dances to keep a fun, uplifting atmosphere.

During the summer, Mormon youth have a few extra fun activities. The Young Women attend a week of what is called girls’ camp. They usually go to a campground nearby. They spend the week getting to know each other, playing games and hiking, canoeing, etc., as well as having spiritual lessons and studying the gospel together. Girls’ camp is always lots of fun! The young men in the ward also go on a camping trip each summer, either to a scout camp or a local campground. They work on scouting merit badges, have fun activities, and study the gospel. In addition to these camping trips, the youth in a ward will usually have a large combined activity (young men and young women) and have a 2- to 3-day youth conference. Sometimes a youth conference activity is camping, sometimes it’s staying at college dorms, sometimes everyone just stays at home and participates in special activities during the day. Youth conference usually consists of service projects, fun activities such as sports, games, hikes, etc., as well as lessons and youth speakers.

I feel so blessed to have grown up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church) and to have participated in these great youth programs. I loved being surrounded by so many people my age who shared my beliefs and had high standards. It was great to be able to attend activities that I knew would be clean and uplifting.