Personal response by Jack
At age 50 I was body surfing with my 16-year-old son and his friend at Laguna Beach, California. I took one “last wave” and accidentally hit by forehead on a submerged rock, my neck was broken, and my spinal cords severed between the second and third cervical vertebrae. I was instantly paralyzed, lost consciousness, and woke up two hours later in the Laguna hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses. One of the nurses noticed my eyes were opened and said to me, “Jack, if you can understand what I am saying, blink your eyes once.” I blinked and there was a collective sigh of relief in the room. That began for me a new way of life that has continued on for the past 19 years.

Because of my faith in a personal God and his goodness I never was angry at Him, nor did I go around saying, with an attitude of self-pity, “Why me?” However, it did take time for me to realize that God and Christ felt my pain and suffering as much, if not more, than I did.

Although not angry about my accident and resulting paralysis, I was devastated and heartbroken for some time. It just seemed that I had lost so much and I could not conceive of living for any extended period of time completely paralyzed from the neck down and on life support.

I slid into a deep, dark, depression and there were those days I would have welcomed an early exit from mortality. I continued to pray however, and finally after a long period of preparation I was given a wonderful experience that made me know forever that God does feel our pain and is anxious to help us.

I came to the end of the rope. I hit the wall. I came to realize that no doctor or any man on this earth could do for me what I needed the most. I knew because of the nature of the injury I would never “get anything back.” What I needed and longed for was hope, peace, and the sense of well-being I had lost because of my accident. Finally I turned to God with all my heart and soul in prayer as I never had prayed before. I eventually came to understand how much I was loved by the Savior and a loving, kind, merciful, Heavenly Father. I didn’t see a vision but I was given a new heart and was filled with peace, joy, hope, and a sense of well-being I never thought I would ever feel again.

Those feelings have never gone away but have only intensified during the past 19 years; I came to understand then, and know now, that God and Jesus Christ do know what we feel and share our pain. I am convinced through my personal experience that they will take our pain and suffering upon themselves through their infinite grace and love if we will but trust them and come unto them with all our hearts.

Believing in the Scriptures, I have a feeling for how sensitive deity is to our suffering and pain in mortality. When his good friend Lazarus died and Jesus came to his aid and to comfort his sisters Mary, and Martha, the scripture says: “Jesus wept.” [John 11: 35] There are almost countless accounts in the Gospels of Jesus Christ healing the sick, restoring the dead to their loved ones, and manifesting incredible compassion to all about him.

As a resurrected being we read this moving account about Him from the Scriptures: “Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy…And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought. So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him… [then] he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. And when he had done this he wept again…” [3 Nephi 17:7-22]

In a vision given to the Prophet Enoch the following tender scene has been preserved for us as God looked upon the wickedness of his people and the resulting pain and agony they were experiencing and would yet experience:

“And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the… people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains? And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst ^aweep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?” [Moses 7:28-29]

Yes, God does feel our pain! He is a God of love and compassion. I wish everyone who ever had a serious problem or challenge in their lives could have my experience. I know they can, but it takes faith, trust, and turning to God with all our hearts.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church) is against all forms of abuse–spiritual, physical, and emotional. Abuse is any hurtful form of treatment of another, including humiliation, domination, physical, psychological or spiritual harm inflicted on another person. The Lord never condoned any like behaviors but was and is an Advocate of peace and harmony for His children. (See Abuse)

In an interview with LDS practitioners discussing “spouse abuse,” John Nelson describes what is deemed inappropriate behavior:

Spouse abuse involves inappropriate acts of one spouse over the other. It may involve coercive acts in which an abuser forces a person to do something that he or she normally would not do, with no particular concern for the victim. Abuse may also include the use of threats, name calling, yelling, and intimidation.

Mormons believe in equality of gender and while the husband is said to preside in righteousness within the family, “presiding” implies love and inclusion rather than force and exclusion. Mr. Nelson goes on to clarify this principle:

In some cases abusers misunderstand or misapply the concept of leadership in the home. I want to make it very clear that it’s not the concept of a presiding leader in the home that is wrong; it’s the misapplication of it. The 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants speaks of that specifically: “The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, … but when we … exercise control or dominion or compulsion … in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves” (D&C 121:36-37). (“A Conversation about Spouse Abuse, ” Ensign October 1999.)

Mormons believe in healing from this and other types of abuse, both for the victim and the inflicter of the injury.

Modern apostle of the Lord, Elder Richard G. Scott, speaks of the need to trust in the love and help available through Jesus Christ for the abused.

Unless healed by the Lord, mental, physical, or sexual abuse can cause you serious, enduring consequences. As a victim you have experienced some of them. They include fear, depression, guilt, self-hatred, destruction of self-esteem, and alienation from normal human relationships. When aggravated by continued abuse, powerful emotions of rebellion, anger, and hatred are generated. These feelings often are focused against oneself, others, life itself, and even Heavenly Father. Frustrated efforts to fight back can degenerate into drug abuse, immorality, abandonment of home, and, tragically in extreme cases, suicide. Unless corrected, these feelings lead to despondent lives, discordant marriages, and even the transition from victim to abuser. One awful result is a deepening lack of trust in others which becomes a barrier to healing (Elder Scott, “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992).  See also Elder Scott’s recent General Conference address titled “To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse”.

Praying for help, seeking counsel from trusted Mormon Church leaders, and allowing the Spirit of the Lord to work in incremental ways, helps the abused one heal through the atonement of Jesus Christ. And, in addition to healing for the victim, there is forgiveness for the abuser who seeks it wholeheartedly.

And for those who have not been touched by the cycle of abuse, let us help free others who have been. Let us help the innocent children, as called upon to do by President Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often errantly called “The Mormon Church”):

How great is our responsibility, how serious the responsibility of Christian people…to reach out to ease the plight of suffering children, to lift them from the rut of despair in which they walk.

Surely after all of the history we have read, after all of the suffering of which we have been told, after all of the exploitation of which we are aware, we can do more than we are now doing to lift the blight that condemns millions of children to lives that know little of happiness, that are tragically brief, and that are filled with pain (“Save the Children,” Ensign, November, 1994)